Grocery store rules 101

Can we talk grocery shopping for just a minute. Perhaps some people out there never got their basic “Grocery Ettiquette 101” lesson. I am here to help, so pay attention. Here are just a few things that will help you not get smacked (by me) while in the grocery store.

If you see me juggling a 2 yr old, my purse, my keys and the 2 yr old’s doll while trying to maneuver all of it towards a cart, do not huff, roll your eyes and push your way around me. I am going as fast as I can and doing the best I can under the circumstances. Huffing at me will not only get you a dirty look, but could result in an “accidental” running over of your foot with my cart incident. Enough said.

If after I get everything situated and am cruising down the aisle taking care of my business, do not move my cart if I stop to get something off of the shelf. Just wait. I am not a label reading, price comparing, take my own sweet time shopper. I know what I want, I get it and move on. Keep your hands off my cart. Especially when my kid is sitting in it.

If you are at the deli and buying your 47 lbs of meat and you see me come up behind you, really, it is okay to let me know that you will be a while. Actually, I would appreciate knowing that I can finish up other things and come back rather than stand there trying to entertain my 2 yr old for 25 minutes while you taste test every meat the deli has to offer. Really, just tell me you are camping out. I am fine with coming back.

When we finally do make it to the checkout stand, keep your distance. Maybe it is just me, but if I am checking out and standing at that check writing platform, do not come stand directly beside me. Back off. I mean really, you are invading my personal space and I can get a bit nasty about it. Just back off, get back with your groceries and cart. Do not roll your eyes if I am writing a check. Do not huff at me if the checker takes longer than you think she should. Just go read your National Enquirer and stay back, okay?

Finally, when you see me heading towards my car that is parked in a great parking place that you want and you notice that I am juggling a 2 yr old, keys, dolls and a purse as well as about 20 bags of groceries you better know that you will be waiting a while. Do not sit there with your turning signal on giving me dirty looks because I am not quicker. You saw how much I was juggling. If you were in such a hurry, you should’ve parked in that space 5 cars down that was empty and you would be in the store by now. You will wait. And not be nasty. If you give me attitude, you will be amazed at how slow I really can move.

These are just a few things that might make your shopping trip more enjoyable. If not, so what. It will make MY shopping trip more enjoyable. Please try to heed my warnings. I have no problem running over your foot or getting in your face about things. Let’s face it. You saw what I was dealing with when I got my cart. I have issues at the grocery store. Let’s not make it worse. Okay?

Thanks.

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