Side Show Mom

Side Show Mom

I had an “interesting” dream last night.

I am sitting in this display window like thing (you know the kind that department stores have?) but I can hear everything going on outside.

So there I am. Sitting there on a stool. I have a cell phone in one hand and a baby bottle in the other. I am kicking a soccer ball back and forth against the glass. With my other foot, I am rocking a cradle. I have a big cardboard sign around my neck that says “species…PTA”. My hair is in a pony tail. I have on track suit. Every now and then I turn for no known reason and shout, “Leave your brother alone!”

I can hear what the people are saying. They are pointing at me as if I am a freak in the traveling carnival’s freak show. Some are whispering. Some are giggling. Some are just staring in awe.

I somewhat harshly tell one woman who keeps trying to poke me, to just “Move along now. There is nothing to see here.” Which, startles her.

“She can speak. I understood that!”

I look around trying to figure out what is going on. Then I see a little sign on a podium just to the left of where I sit. I squint to read the fine print.

“Species…Stay at home mom. Sub species: Soccer mom/PTA mom hybrid.
These suburban dwellers are commonly found living in neighborhoods among others of their species. They are quite mobile and are frequently seen transporting their young with such common modes of transportation as the mini-van or SUV. Their diet consists mainly of coffee, diet coke and pilfered food from their offsprings’ plates. They survive on less sleep than the average human being needs to sustain life, yet they are completely functional. Many times going years without a night of continuous sleep. This species is generally docile as a rule; however, if someone appears to be threatening their young, they can become quite vicious. This is an endangered species. Mainly due to the harshness of the climate in which they live. We are trying to preserve the species as a whole. This is just one of the subspecies on display. They can be found worldwide and are becoming quite rare.”


Gee, I wonder if I can try to find any dream analysis book that will tell me what that means. I mean, it is so vague and ambiguous!


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