The Great Shape-Up

The Great Shape-Up

Okay. I guess I need to finally admit something.

I am no longer 20.

What?! You knew that? How come I didn’t?

You see, I keep thinking that perhaps, just maybe I might still be in my early 20’s. Oh, not because I want to do the whole “young 20’s party scene”. Not because I haven’t achieved somet things that I thought I would achieve by now. Not even because I am starting to have hands that look like my mother’s hands. Nope none of that. Want to know how I figured this out?

I no longer have any coordination. Nope. I lost it. Trust me, coming from a girl who lived on the softball field, basketball court or volleyball court, this is a tough realization. (Hey, I was even on the track team. I was athletic!)

How did this all come about? Well, I will tell you. (Yes, you did ask. I heard you!) So, I finally decided that it really is time to shed the last of the baby weight I gained with Little Diva. (Shut up. I know it has been two and a half years.)

I dug out the aerobic tapes. I stumbled, tripped and almost caused an entertainment center to fall down on me. I figured the laughter I enjoyed while laughing at the “fashionable” leg warmers and cheesy porn-like music in the video was work-out enough. End day 1 of “The Great Shape-Up”.

Day Two. Tossing the aerobic tape to the back of the closet, I dug out the Pilates tape. How hard can that be? It says low impact. Low impact, sure, all the while it will make your muscles feel like you have taken them to hell to burn for their mere existance. Personally, I don’t think that any human body really should do some of those things. It just isn’t natural. Instead of contorting my body into a pretzel, I just went to Aunt Annies and bought one. End Day Two.

Okay. This is ridiculous! I was an athlete. I guess I just wasn’t doing something challenging enough. So I went to Target and bought the Ultimate Kickboxing Aerobic Workout. Let’s just say that if anyone was ever threatening me, I could easily jump into some of my moves and stop them. Of course, they would be stopped because they are hunched over, wetting their pants with laughter.

Tomorrow is Day Four. I am not sure what exercise genre I am going to attempt, yet. Perhaps something a bit less challenging like…oh, say walking and chewing gum at the same time. I hear that challenges some people. I’ll just start there and work my way up to the others.

I’ll let you know how it goes.


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