Let me just save you people some distress later on down the road. Do not combine these two particularly bad habits on the same day: drinking an entire pot of coffee on the day you skip both breakfast and lunch. Oh sure, that initial buzz is quite a thrill and perhaps even somewhat productive when you have the ability to speed clean your entire house. And yes, it is fun to talk so fast that you can cause an auctioneer to lose track of the conversation. But really, it just isn’t worth it.

When you crash and burn (and trust me, you will crash and burn), it will be like being hit by a mack truck that knocks you over a bridge onto the train tracks below where the local locomotive is barrelling right at you. Yeah. You’ll be that tired. And that will hit you at about 4:00pm. Trust me, becoming that incoherant and comatose that early in the evening doesn’t do anyone any good. Well, except of course for the toddler who thinks it might be fun to color on your thigh with markers because you are too tired to do anything about it. Yes, she might enjoy it, but that is about all the fun that will be had that afternoon.

I’m there for you people. I put myself through things like this in order to spare you all the agony of figuring them out on your own. You are welcome. It’s all about you, my friends. All about you. (Okay, and the total obsession with coffee, but really, that is secondary. Honest.)

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