I said 50 cents…now go away!

I said 50 cents…now go away!

So, we have already established that I am missing the June Cleaver gene. I am pretty sure that my PTA gene was a bit underdeveloped, warped or just plain missing. We’ve found yet another missing gene of mine. The garage sale gene.

Don’t have one. Don’t understand people who do.

We decided to have a yard sale since we are moving and have way too much crap. (And frankly, I don’t want to pack it all.) So some brilliant person said, “Why don’t we (meaning me) have a yard sale?” Then a complete idiot (me) said, “Sure! Why not?”

Never. Again.

Did you read that? Never again. I don’t have the “thang” that you need to either a)enjoy a garage/yard sale or b)the ability to haggle over a cheap-ass $1.50 item.

Case in point, I actually argued with a woman over a quarter.

Cheap Lady: “How much for all of these toys?”
Me: “50 cents”
Cheap Lady: “I’ll give you 25 cents.”
Me: “Does 25 sound like 50? Not to me. 50.”
Cheap Lady: “How about 30”
Me: “How about 50”
Cheap Lady: “What if I say 40?”
Me: “Then I say put the crap down for the next person to pay 50 cents”
Cheap Lady: *pause pause deliberate in her brain* “Fine. I suppose I’ll give you 50. You win.”

Whaaahuhhh? All of that over a quarter. A freaking quarter. It nearly came to blows for a minute there.

Why didn’t I just give it to her for a quarter? Because I said 50 cents, damnit! I was tired of everyone lowballing me on everything. Having them haggle over price and the decide on a 50 cent item (all the while complaining about it) and then giving me a $20 bill when they finally decide to buy it.

Never. Again.

I don’t have the gene. And frankly, if that is how it works, I don’t want it. So, chalk one more up to the “Boy is this lady a freak” when adding up my totals. I am garage sale deficient and proud of it!


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