Will someone just come make some white noise for me?

Will someone just come make some white noise for me?

When you are an insomniac, you always find yourself receiving well meaning words of advice as well as tips and tricks on how to get to sleep, stay asleep or go back to sleep. Many times, they are helpful. They are almost always shared with a caring heart, so I do appreciate them. (I say almost always. I don’t much like the “just go to sleep” approach. They just don’t get it.)

In fact, about the time Little Diva was born, it was suggested that I get a sound machine. I always had on a ceiling fan or something that made noise. It made sense. So, I gradually introduced it to our bedroom. I had to tread carefully. We all know that I have brought things into that room that have come between us before. But, much to my glee, he came to love my sound machine as much as I did.

At first, it helps you to sleep better. Then, it becomes something you get used to. Then, ironically enough, it becomes something you depend on. “What do you mean you forgot to pack the sound machine?!” became a popular accusation when traveling. But all in all, we love our sound machine. We need our sound machine. We depend on our sound machine.

Sadly, though, our sound machine is having some serious attitude problems. It has two volumes right now: so loud you think your ears just may bleed and silence. This just won’t do! It won’t do, I tell you!

Today, I am completely wiped out. Dead on my feet. Functionless. Why? Because obviously we chose to not have our ears bleed and turn it off. Oh sure, we tried the old “wrap it up 8 times in a heavy blanket and shove it under the bed” method. When we did that, it became very apologetic and went back to normal sound mode. Now, we couldn’t hear it anymore. So, we do what any sleep deprived person would do. We let it out of it’s cocoon. Then it went back to Torture Volume again.

What I am going to do without my beloved sound machine? I tried telling him WalMart was open 24 hours. He didn’t feel this was an emergency. I bet he changes his tune about 3:30am when I am jumping up and down on the bed so that he, too, can be awake and miserable.

I Need My Sound Machine.

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