I just spend about a half an hour driving the neighborhood looking for Kidlet Sr. To say that I am a bit hot under the collar would be such an understatement. He was about 10 mintues from me calling the police to look for him.

“But Mom, I was just out riding my bike.”

He did tell me he was going to ride his bike with a neighbor. That always means right around here. Not this time. No. This time he went to the other side of the neighborhood without letting me know. And stayed gone over 3 hours. In this family, that is a big no-no.

We had dinner. We cleaned up. I walked the street looking for him. Each step brought fresh panic. He never goes so far that it would take more than a short walk to find him. I don’t make him stay *right by my side*, but I do like to know where he is when he is outside. This isn’t the world I grew up in and it surely isn’t the same neighborhood either.

Is it actually possible to explain to a 10 year old the fear that grips a mother when her usually reliable son pulls something like this? Is it possible for him to really grasp that every horrible thing that could’ve happened flashed through my mind…more than once? Is it possible for him to realize that I can be this angry and yet still be able to forgive him when he apologizes?

This is the first time that I have lost it with him over something like this. Actually, it is the first time he has pulled something like this. I admit, a part of me wants to just put my arms around him and tell him I know what it is like to be a kid and lose track of time, that I did it too and nothing ever happened to me and to admit that it’s not that big of a deal. However, I also want him to know that he just cannot do that. He has to learn now that I won’t tolerate it. I know I have to take a stand now. But, truth be told, it breaks my heart to see him so upset with himself.

I just hope he learns his lesson so we don’t have to go through this again.

Oh yeah, this whole parenting thing is a snap. No problems at all. Guilt? What’s that? Second guessing yourself? Of course not. Your heart breaking when you have to get your point across to a child so that he knows better than to be irresponsible in the future? Not me. Being full of b.s. by saying that those things aren’t a part of parenthood. You betcha!

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