Sometimes you just hit a wall in life. You don’t know how to go forward. You sure as hell don’t want to go backwards. So you get stuck in “somewhere in between” land.
Somewhere in Between Land is not for the faint of heart. You become a nomad. You wander from place to place in Somewhere in Between Land, but don’t have a home. No one is a citizen of Somewhere in Between Land. You can’t be. By the very defininition of the place, it is somewhere in between where you were and where you are going. You can’t stay there long term and you certainly can’t make it your home.
Yet, there are times when circumstances keep you in Somewhere in Between Land far longer than you thought you would be there. (I mean, hey, you only packed for a brief visit. You are totally not prepared to be staying there as long as you have. And let’s face it, you’re starting the stick the place up with your stagnacy.) You make plans to leave. You check the train schedule to make sure you know when to be at the station. This time you are ready. You are finally going to leave Somewhere in Between Land and be on your way to your new home in Someday Land.
Oh, how I have dreamed of Someday Land. We have big plans. In fact, we are going to have a nice job in Someday Land. In fact, I have heard the schools are wonderful in Someday Land. And, although we hope it is not a rumor, we even heard that we already have friends waiting for us in Someday Land. We are ready to leave Somewhere in Between and finally be on our way to Someday.
But the train never shows up. We get to the station and the train doesn’t come. So we check our list. We look at our choices and wonder if maybe we should just rent a car and drive. However, once we try to rent a car, we find out that they are actually out of cars. Although it sure seemed like a good idea at the time, the perfect idea in fact, to get us to Someday, it wasn’t meant to be. So, we head back to the train station and wait.
So, if you need me, I’ll be at the train station waiting to get the hell out of Somewhere in Between and finally get moving to Someday.
The moral of this jibberish? (Is there one?)
I haven’t really been around the last couple of days because I am just worn out. Mentally. It seems as if once we think we’ve made a decision about our future and moving forward, something comes along to throw us a curve and add one more aspect to everything. Which, in turn, usually changes our thinking about whatever current plan we have. It is mentally exhausting. And to be honest with you, I have just been too beaten down to write. (Which is pretty down for me.)
I know this comes in waves. I will be back as soon as tomorrow and be myself again. For now, I just wanted you to know why I was quite for a couple of days. I’m okay. Just sort of hanging in the corner alone. Thank you very much for the emails and/or IM’s asking where I am and if I am okay. They mean more to me than I could ever express. Thank you, my friends. Thank you.