Like most parents I have found that some of the greatest conversations with my kids have come while driving in the car. They know they have my undivided attention, so they take full advantage of it. The questions have ranged from the philosophical to the how-to, from the historical to the completely random. Today was no exception. This is an honest account of the conversations I endured had with my kids today.
We had been running errands for a while. The kids were bored. (This is prime question time. Boredom combined with too much “in the car” time.) From the backseat I hear:
Kidlet Jr: “Mom?”
Me: “Yes?”
Kidlet Jr: “Do you suck or blow?”
*trying to avoid slamming the car into the SUV in front of me*
Me: “Excuse me? I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about.”
Kidlet Jr: “Do you suck or blow? When you whistle. Do you suck air in or do you blow air out? I blow air out.”
Me: “Ummm, well, I guess both, honey.”
*noticing I have started to stammer a bit I turn the radio up. I need a break from questions. A few moments later from the front seat beside me, I see my older son squirm.
Me: “What’s wrong?”
Kidlet Sr.: “Nothing.”
Me: “What’s wrong?”
Kidlet Sr.: “Is it better to spit or swallow?”
*Dear Lord take me now or make a hole deep enough for me to fall into RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND*
Me: “Ummm, well, first, I want to know where you heard something like that.”
Kidlet Sr.: “I didn’t hear it anywhere. There are only two choices. Spit or swallow. This gum has no flavor and I don’t want to spit it out the window, but I heard that swallowing it makes it stay in your intestines for seven years! Isn’t that gross! Is that true, Mom?”
And then he proceeded to gross his brother out telling him about how disgusting gum must be after 7 years in your gut.
As for me, I made a new rule. No more questions in the car. EVER.
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