I am seriously not cut out for early morning. Getting up when it is still dark outside is just wrong! If the sun, the biggest celestial being in our universe (at least for this illustration), cannot even manage to make an appearance when I have to get up, it is just too early. Oh sure, that whole “watching the sunrise over the mountains”* thing is cool and all, but it is just not my thing. (*No, I don’t live near the mountains and I am pretty sure the last sunrise I saw was during the Reagan administration. I was going for the visual, people.)
Let me get this straight. I am supposed to get up before the sun. Be productive. (Moms have to make lunches and get kids out of bed, check backpacks etc.) Fix food for the children. (My own personal belief system feels strongly that food before noon is an ungodly sin against all of humanity. Food that smells should be banned straight to hell for offending my super sensitive olfactory system.)
I am just not cut out for this.
Mark my words. One of these days the kids are going to wind up at school still in their pajamas. (Or at least in completely mismatched clothes and bad shoes.) They are going to wander into their classrooms with bed head and discover that their backpacks have in fact been stuffed with dirty clothes or trash or the excess lint from the dryer lint trap. Because, Mommy Doesn’t Do Mornings. Their teachers will just shake their heads and chalk it up to that “poor Mrs. Jenn who has finally lost it completely.” My only hope is when that finally happens, they will blame the PTA.
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