Okay, I admit it. I can get pretty obsessive about things. And I am not talking about normal things that a lot of people get obsessed about. Plates I can see myself in? Don’t care. That April Fresh smell for my clothes? Not so much an issue as long as they are clean. A house that is spotless 24/7? Can’t say that tops my list either now that the house is no longer for sale.
No, I am talking about things that usually send him from the room shaking his head. Things that really would probably make the “normal” person give a double take and then move on. Oh no, not me. I get a hold of one of these things and it will haunt me for days (alas, sometimes weeks) at a time. Do any of these things make any difference in my life in any way, shape or form? Absolutely not. Let me give you a few examples.
I have said it before, I will say it again. I really do not understand why people cry reading this book. I don’t get it. Rather than just accept that there are people that just find some sort of emotional ties to this book, I can’t let it go. I ask anyone I see that has this book or has heard of if they cried when they read it. If (oh heaven forbid) they say they did, they will be treated to about a 10-15 minute round of questions. Questions like: Why? Could you please explain it to me! Do you not see the whole stalker attributes to this?? Were you neglected as a child? Are you currently seeking medical attention for the fact that this book made you cry? Why? I mean, really, why??? I don’t get it and cannot let it go.
You’re still here? Wanting more examples? Okay. Here is another.
Whenever I am traveling and come to a state line, I have this really bizarre obsession where I have to lift my feet up going over that state line. No, really. Not only do I have to lift my feet, I have to announce that I am doing it until we cross the state line and then I have to shout, “Welcome to [insert state name here]!!” Something that I just do? Well, yes. However, if I have fallen asleep (not while driving of course!), and no one woke me up to do it, I am mad. Clint has gotten more than one knuckle punch to the arm for not waking me when crossing a state line. IF that has happened, I am seriously distressed that I missed it. There have been nights in hotel where I will lay there in the middle of the night and mumble (loud enough for him to hear of course) “I cannot believe you just blew through there without letting me know. Do you know how mean that is?”
More? Wow. You may just be as weird as I am. Good to know.
Okay. Last one. (Not the last one I have, but the latest and last I am sharing with you today.) I was recently online IMing with a friend of mine who happens to also be a writer. We are looking at different websites sharing links and urls that we think the other would enjoy or benefit from. We are in a sense brainstorming together. Then she happens to come upon a site by an author that probably had really good advice. I will never know. Why? Because of the picture she chose to use in her byline. I am not going to tell you what the picture was, but I will say that it was inappropriate. Totally. Completely. It baffled me to no end. Right there, the obsession began. I mean, WHY? Really. WHY? My writer friend got over it rather quickly, but I couldn’t let it go. See for yourself:
Her: Another good one….but promise me, when we’re published we won’t use a cheesy picture like this for our byline.
Me: That was my FIRST thought!
Her: I hate having to come up with a good headshot.
Me: Seriously…why why why why did she use that picture? OH MY GOD that is bothering me to a very OBSESSIVE degree. WHAT?? WHY WHY WHY??????
Me: Probably thought that she really looked her best.
Me: Clint is laughing his butt off at me. I made him come here and look. And kept saying WHY WHY WHY? WTF? WHY? I don’t care who she is, I can never ever ever read her again. I need to email her. Just one word. WHY?
Her: She left that tip out of her article. Don’t use inappropriate pictures for your byline.
Me: Let me just remind you….I obsess over the weirdest things. This would be one of those things. Do not ever show me stuff like that again. I am going to have nightmares seeing that picture and wake up screaming WHYYYY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS NORMAL AND SANE WHY?
Me: I need a new brain. Mine is warped
Her: You should definitely email her then…just to get it off your chest.
Me: Can you see it now? “Dear Writer Chick, WHY? For the love of all things good in this world, WHY that picture? Because really you are freaking me out.”
You’d think that was the end of it, right? Not so much. I am pretty sure that every conversation I have had with my friend since then has at one point or another come around to WHY THAT PICTURE? Oh sure, sometimes she brings it up to see me go all off on a rant, but still. It still comes up. In fact, years down the road when we look back on when we were first starting out, I am quite sure when we get together at least one of us will (a) bring it up and (b) make up a mock picture of it ourselves. It is inevitable.
Want to hear one last confession (not obsession…confession)? This entire entry came about because I came across that picture again and really I had to tell someone. And you are that someone. Yes, I was willing to air my dirty laundry of strange obsessive behaviors for one reason alone. To say again…WHY?
Because really, once one of these things gets stuck in my brain, it is there forever. Sad, but true. Stay tuned because who knows, maybe one day I will share with you about sock monkeys, Gilbert Gottfried and bra straps that really need to be TUCKED in!
*update* This is not an author on my blogroll or anyone’s blogroll that I know. In fact, I don’t know her and have not even run across her on any of the writers groups that I belong to. Seriously, it was a drive by page hit that caught our attention. You have my word on that. Besides, if it was you, I am not that nice that I would keep quite. I would suggest in a nice manner that perhaps you are a bit off course with your photo choices.