There has been way too much reality tv in my house lately. I had the most bizarre dream about it. (Yes, I know that I have bizarre dreams all the time, but this one was entertainingly bizarre.)
So, I am in a locked down house (as in Big Brother 5), but it was a couples game. Everyone in there was with their significant other. Well, who do you think is locked in the house with us? Colin and Christie from The Amazing Race 5. (There is no way I could’ve despised that man more. Can we say emotionally abusive to his girlfriend?) Well, not one to hold back my opinion, I went all Carolyn** (from The Apprentice) on him and getting in his face often. (Because in the dream she was actually the person that was training me on how to “get my bitch on” when it came to the other houseguests.) All the while I am thinking this is perfectly normal until I find out that the “Big Brother” in question is actually Mark Cuban of The Benefactor. That just really made me mad! Who did he think he was? But once I found out that the winnings were raised to a million dollars rather than $500,000, I calmed down.
And the twist that all Reality Shows love to throw into the mix? When you get evicted from the house, you don’t get to go to a nice tropical paradise to await the end of the series. No. They ship your ass off to a Survivor island with Mr. Jeff Probst himself.
It was all seriously twisted.
I think I am going to go ahead and watch some good old fashion smut tv (aka Lifetime for Losers) to get this reality insanity out of my head. Better yet, I could just unplug the tv and get on with life.
Yeah, with 3 kids that made me laugh, too. At least I know I have the Disney Channel to disturb my dreams.
Can I just say that in the last Apprentice show, I seriously think I developed a new crush on Carolyn. No, not in the whole “I should be on Cinemax” way. More like, I want to sit at the feet of the Master and learn how to be the queen bitch. The looks she gave! The things she said! Her tone! I bow to the great bitchiness that she showed and want to learn from her, my queen B! 😉