Hey baby, wanna *bleep*

Hey baby, wanna *bleep*

When the geek movement first arrived in my life, I did try to resist it.  When my husband Clint had a BBS before we got married, I still vowed to love him in spite of the geek factor being blown off the scale.

I resisted becoming a geek.

Oh sure, I logged on, got a great user name and chatted with the other users, but I was NOT a geek.  Honest.  And yes, I did go with him to the sysop get togethers.  (But man, those geeks can drink!)

Yet, I resisited becoming a geek.

After Zarek was born in 1995 I became a full fledged insomniac.  Clint’s answer?  Show me the internet.  Teach me how to navigate the World Wide Web.  Our conversations went something like this:

Me:  What do you mean I can find a website on anything I want?”

Clint:  “Just type anything you want to know in that box and it will take you to that website.”

Me:  *typing* ‘anything I want to know’ *SMACK to the forehead* “Ohhh, you mean type the TOPIC of what I want to know?? Like if I type ‘coffee’ I can read all about the different brews?”

Not only did I find coffee related sites, I found PARENTING sites! And JOURNALS! And CHAT sites!  (I could suddenly chat with anyone, anytime!) I really did have something new to do with those middle of the night sleepless hours.  I was going to like this new Internet thing.  (Thanks so much, Al Gore.  I heart the Internet!)

Yet, I resisted becoming a geek.

Years passed.  I set up a few different websites of my own.  I discovered IRC and went to real live get- togethers with these people that I met in *gasp* a chat room.  I joined an awesome online Moms groups when Gabriella was a newborn.  Even starting my very own blog in 2003 didn’t bring me to the realm of full fledged geek.  It didn’t matter that I wrote on the internet. Or that I actually learned HTML.  Even the fact that I knew what people were talking about when they spoke geek.  I wasn’t there yet.

That moment arrived a week or so ago.  It was in that moment that I realized not only had I arrived in the World of Geek, I just may have to try to be their queen.

Clint was in the family room with his laptop doing something geeky online.  I was in the bedroom getting ready to call it a night when I had a moment of inspiration.  I grabbed my laptop and (giggling like I am being a bad girl) sent him a very suggestive instant message asking him to meet me in the bedroom.

I struck a pose and waited…

…and waited

…and waited.

Perhaps my IM was too suggestive and not blunt enough. Fine.  I can do blunt.  So, I decide to send him a steamy IM that was in no way shape or form questionable about what I was talking about.  Dirty words and all.

I struck a pose and waited…

…and waited

…and waited.


My first thought is, ‘Oh my god!  What if I IM’ed that to a friend or worse my Dad?!’ In a panic I double checked and was relived to see that I had not propositioned either.

Then I got pissed.  What the hell is wrong with me that my own husband isn’t responding to a very blatant invitation?  It then dawned on me that maybe it wasn’t his fault.

I grabbed a robe, stormed into the family room hand on my hips and demanded, “Do you or do you not have porn blocking on your instant messenger?”

Stammering, he replied that he did and then proceeded to try to figure out why he was in trouble for NOT having porn on his laptop. 

“Nevermind,” I sighed turning on my heal and leaving with a pout. 

Back in the bedroom, I gave it one more shot.  This time it worked.

Can I just share something with you about propositioning someone through IM, though?  It really does lose something when all of the “dirty” words are spelled with an asterick smack in the mid*dle of them.


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