I am very happy today. I found out something that is going to change my life dramatically. (As well as someone else’s.) However, I did not ask that certain someone if I can talk about it, so to protect his identity, I won’t use real names. Let’s call him Dick Richard.
You see, some of you know “Richard” as the father of my children and my husband of almost 15 years. (No names, please. Let’s respect his privacy.) I got a call from him today saying that…
….wait for it….
He is scheduled for his vasectomy next week!
[We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to bring you the happiest of happy dances, the giddiest of giggles and the loudest of hallelujah shouts ever experienced at this blog. Do not adjust your computers. The issue lies with the author. Feel free to dance along. We now return you to the regularly scheduled entry.]
Was it wrong that I was in Kohl’s and shouted out “Wooo hooooo!!” quite ecstatically? (Don’t worry sweetie, I used my gift card.) Is it wrong that I can’t stop telling EVERYONE I know that at last the snipage will occur? (By the way, the mailman said he really didn’t care.) And really, is it wrong that I am making jokes about it to him? Like: ‘Call the vet and maybe we can get a 2-for-1 deal!’ or ‘Do you want me to get frozen lima beans, frozen corn or shall we just make sufferin’ succotash?’
Yeah, okay, maybe the jokes are too far, but damn I am one happy woman!
So mark your calendars. April 7th. Family Local National Holiday, folks.
*skipping off doing the Snoopy Happy Dance*
Oh, and of course, all snipage jokes are absolutely accepted. I must share the joy!
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