Sometimes you must resort to random information rather than make quite a few separate snore-worthy entries. Instead, here is one Big Entry of Random Randomness (now exploiting friends of my children!)
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I have been told for the past three months how well I have been handling everything with my Mom and my Dad. I have been asked how I am holding it all together. My standard reply is usually Just wait. It is when the calm comes that I lose it. The fun has yet to begin! I am rarely believed because I look so “together”. Last night I spent most of the evening making sarcastic remarks, whining or just being bitchy. When Clint mistakenly asked what was wrong, well, let’s just say I gave him an earful. A few minutes later as I was watching TV, I went to brush my hair of my shoulder when my ring snagged on my necklace and broke it.
Oh for the love of all things emotionally irrational, I lost it. Lost. It. I began to sob uncontrollably muttering how ironic it is that it was my Mom’s ring that broke my necklace and broke me down and is making me cry and ohhh how could life be so unfair as to break my necklace. It just isn’t fair that my necklace broke. Why is this happening? Why did I have to lose my necklace?? What have I done to deserve to suffer through a BROKEN NECKLACE?!
(Does anyone think perhaps I was suffering through a case of transference? Nah!)
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Today I decided to work on the mood a bit. I dressed up in something other than warm-ups and a ratty t-shirt. I put makeup on and curled my hair even. When my loving husband got home he was so kind as to compliment me.
Clint: You look nice today. Make-up and everything.”
Me: Today I decided to go by the old standby of “If you look good, you will feel good.”
Clint: How’s that working for you?
Me: *sob sob uncontrollable sobbing*
Clint: So not so well, huh.
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With so much work to do, I knew that spending all day entertaining Gabrie was not going to be productive. I did the only rational thing of a stressed out woman: I invited her best friend over. They keep each other entertained so that I can work. In fact, I have been entertained as well. Here are just a few reasons why I absolutely love these girls together.
Gabrie: Why did your horse just kiss my horse?
Friend: Because that’s what horses do when they get their lovin’ on.
After choking with laughter and snorting my Diet Coke out of my nose, I asked her what she meant. I finally got to the point where what she meant to say was was “when they are in love”, but it was SO MUCH funnier as “get their lovin’ on”!
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While driving with the girls on errands, Joe Nichols song “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off” came on the radio. The next thing I hear is LOUD singing from the backseat.
Friend: “Maquita makes her clothes fall offffff!”
Gabrie: “Not maquita! TEQUILA makes her clothes fall off. Tequila. Right, Mommy?”
Me: “Absolutely, sweetie.”
I am SO not winning mother of the year this year.
And that, my friends, concludes my Big Entry of Random Randomness (now exploiting friends of my children!)