Don’t call me Little Miss Crabby Ass!

Don’t call me Little Miss Crabby Ass!

imageI admit it.  Today was one of those days where I tend to not only act crabby, but I roll around in my immaturity until the stench of bad-attitude seeps from my pours.  I made the mistake of whining to the wrong right friend.  Did I get support?  No.  Did I get helpful advice?  No.  I got the image you see to the left in my email. No note.  No hang in there.  (Not even that damn kitten hanging from a branch saying ‘Hang in There’) Just that image.  It totally worked.  I laughed my ass off!  So, WHY was I cranky?  Because today was “Oh dear lord they are all going to be out of school for WEEKS and this in my last full day alone to do just ME stuff like a movie or getting my nails done or the creme de la creme…SLEEP!” And it was shot to shit.  So far, I know some of you are on the same page and get it.  Well, many of you are.  Until I tell you why it was messed up.  You see, it is the matter of this 104 degree temperature that arrived in my house this morning. (No, not me.) Gabrie. I did feel sorry for my baby girl.  She was so sick and I really wasn’t mad that I missed those things.  I really was not. The missing of Me Time was fine.  A blip in my day.  It didn’t even come when I realized that this high of a fever meant Gabrie would want to sit right beside me glued to my hip all day.  Snuggling or most likely fussing or just talking talking talking.  Even then the crabby ass stayed away.  Wanna know what really brought on the crabby-ass and slammed it down the home court?

Nick Jr. and Barbie

Today was a day of all day Dora, Barbie and Blues Clues and some other horrifying show with fake looking people with pink and blue hair that frankly are not at all right for young children to be watching, I must say.  All.  Day.  ALL DAY

Yes, you may weep for me now.  I shall wait.  It isn’t that I don’t like these shows, but All Day?  That is just cruel and unusual punishment for anyone.  You see, Gabriella stayed home from school today with that raging and somewhat scary fever.  When she is home that means that Mommy is the playdate de jour!  I get to play Barbie.  We all know how much I love *gag* playing Barbie. (Tell me…How can I role play with a “woman” that I would probably try to bitch slap if I ever really met her.  We did have a more fun version we played, but Clint says I can no longer play Ghetto Barbie from da Hood street fighting with Gabriella.  I think it is because it is the only game I won’t let her win at!) So, anyway, it was Barbie!  And then Dora!  And now, at least, thank you Nick Jr. I can catch new episodes of Go Diego Go!  (I have been watching these shows for 12 years! I think there should be compensation for anyone who has seen every show that Nick Jr has to offer at least 142 times. Sober.  Seriously.  Can you say Class Action Law Suit? Any lawyers in the house that want to take this one?  There are torture laws and this must be covered under them!) Now I am all Nick Jr’ed out (That is SO a phrase…ask anyone who has had to do this all day!) and have played with every Barbie in the house–even ratty ol’ Skanky Suzie who can’t seem to keep her top on and has had a very bad haircut given in the past few months.  (Guess what Suzy:  It ain’t growin’ back!)

Mommy needs a break (and more wine coffee.)

In other news (as if my brain functions well enough on more “bitchy pills” to capture other news) it appears that my oldest son has a new girlfriend.  Please stand by while I go hurl myself onto the floor in fits of hysteria and panic. A Girlfriend.  As in the kind of female he really likes.  I am not ready. Nope.  I think I may have to force him back to the day of crayons and Playdoh.  Make him wear the most nerd-tronic clothes I can find and cut his hair with PlayDoh scissors.  Middle school is NOT for the faint of heart.  At least not for the parents. 

On a more serious note, my other son who was threatened in school is doing so much better!  I have seen the support from the teachers and the principal to make me feel better about the whole situation.  Still on guard with me, but better overall.  (Thanks for all of the support there.  You all gave me some great advice and I have taken it as far as I can take it legally. But trust me when I say, I will continue to stay on this an ensure the best and safest solution is met for both boys.) The child in question is no longer in my son’s class and it has made all the difference in the world for my boy.  He is so much more relaxed and is enjoying school again.  I am so thankful.  For a while after I went all in the face of the school and the police and the school board, my son had the incredible attitude of “Mess with me and my MOM will come TAKE YOU DOWN.” Ahhhh, the power of having a loud mouth mother!  All hail the big mouths in the crowd!  Hollah!

So, yes, I was a bit of a crabby ass today.  But heaven bless the wonderful friends who will send me emails with nothing but a smart ass image to ground me again.  (As always, feel free to send them on.  I have “people” who handle these kinds of things if it gets ugly.  Right, MoFoJ?)

Tomorrow is better!  Tomorrow is [pass the wine] better!  Tomorrow is better!  Tomorrow is [pass more wine] better!


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