One year FIVE YEARS (thanks Mir) and one day ago, I looked like this. Oh sure, there were times when it looked more like I had just consumed a few kegs and was sporting quite a beer belly. But no, it really was a baby in there. (You see, I had the bear with me to prove it. Had to carry the thing everywhere so no one would say, “Quite a beer gut you got there, lady!)
But I was ready. I was overjoyed and couldn’t believe I was about to have another baby. A baby girl. I was in awe that this was really about to happen. We went through so many problems the entire pregnancy. I was actually told to prepare myself to lose her. That it would be a miracle if she was born, and especially if she was born without defects. But so far, this close to the end, she looked perfect from the sonongrams. I didn’t care what doctors told me. I knew my baby girl was my miracle no matter what happened.
The night of the April 1st, I checked into the hospital to be induced. After Dr. Really Huge Hands began the process, I just passed out and waited for the real contractions to start. Then I did what any third time Mom would do. I went to sleep. I knew it would be a while before SLEEP happened again. The next morning my family came to be with me. Well, to be bored out of their mind while my body decided to take it’s own sweet time. Which was fine with me. I was watching the Stars hockey game and really didn’t want to be bothered with the whole pushing issue. It wasn’t until everyone left and decided to go home and wait a few hours there that things started happening. The only person to walk into the room was an orderly. I grabbed him by his
balls shirt and demanded that he go get a doctor, a nurse, a plumber. I didn’t care. It was time for this baby to GET OUT. (Not to mention it was also intermission in the hockey game. My girl ROCKED to wait until the game wasn’t on.)
A nurse strolled in and got the room ready and left. Telling me she would be right back. That was about the time my sister walked in to find me like this. She took a picture and showed me. We started cracking up and yelling at my belly, “Go towards the light, baby!” and “I guess this is what they mean by ‘maternal glow’, huh!” (I was in labor. It was funny then.)
Things happened so fast. Before I knew it, I had my gorgeous baby girl in my arms. She was all that I dreamed she would be. And so very tiny. Perfectly healthy. Small, but healthy.
One of the first people to hold my baby girl was my Mom. It is a moment I will always cherish. One I have framed in Gabriella’s room.
It feels like it was just yesterday, but I know it wasn’t. I know because I was awakened to the high piercing screams of my beloved daughter as she sprung on my bed like a wind up bouncing Tigger announcing “I AM FIVE TODAY! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!” (Now that will wake you up like ice water in the face!)
She has been a miracle to us. I found out I was pregnant with her only 3 months into my sobriety. That is a big no-no. They say that you shouldn’t make any huge life changes that first year. However, the weekend I was to pick up my one year chip, I was giving birth to my daughter.
It has been an amazing five years. I never knew what life as a Mom to a little girl would be like. It surpasses anything I ever dreamed of. Now, I am able to pass on so many things that I shared with my own Mom, to my daughter.
Happy birthday, my sweet girl. I love you and I promise I won’t cry when you gasp in horror to your friends years from now, “Oh gawd, I am becoming just like my mother!”
From that little bitty girl to this amazing pre-K sweetie, I have loved every second of it.
(For those of you who don’t do pop-ups, you can see the images here on my flickr page.)