I am going out of town with 2 of the kids this weekend. Which means that Clint and Brandon (and Doberbutt) will be left here. Whatever will they do? (Yeah, can someone remind them to stop playing WoW at least every few hours to eat and see if the sun is out and maybe, perhaps, take a breath of fresh air? That would be great! Thanks!) But before I go, I thought I would leave you with a nugget or two of wisdom.
1) You know those open letters that some people post online that NO ONE actually reads, because come on who really wants to read the rants of someone who feels they are all that that they are going to post an open letter on the Internet thinking they will be heard? Well, yeah, umm people read them. I’m just saying. (Hi guys! Mwah!)
2) Never tell two 12 year olds and a 10 year old (in an arrogant ‘I know better than you do’ way) that “Sure you can TRY to stay up all night if you want to” All the while in the back of your head knowing they will hit the wall by at least 4am. Because they totally will prove you wrong and be going strong at 9:00am. And certainly don’t agree to take one of them in the car with you for 6 hours. With a 5 year old who only had 5 hours of sleep. I just see it as a disaster waiting to happen. I’m just saying.
3) Don’t ever say…and I mean never ever say this…don’t say, “You are such a geek! I would–key word coming up—never play that game, you big overgrown role playing geekified freak who needs to breath more fresh air!” It will come back to bite you on the butt. I’m just saying.
4) Speaking of butts…also don’t offer to moon an extremely large group of people. They will await photographic evidence of your mooning. Especially when you arrogantly include the phrase “so you can kiss my ass”. I’m just saying.
I hope I have left you with enough wisdom to see you through the weekend. Have fun. Be good. Play fair. And for the love of all things normal, log off and breathe some fresh air people. Or I will be forced to moon you. And you do NOT want that!
—–