Yesterday was Gabriella’s last day of preschool. She was so excited! We walked to her classroom where there were other mothers congregating and crying. Like real crying. I grabbed one of them in a panic and asked, “What’s wrong? What happened?” I am thinking an act of terrorism occurred while I was jamming to the Woo-Woo Dance on the way to school or the teacher had a heart attack or something horrific happened that I was unaware of. She looked at me with her tear stained face and said, “Well, it IS their last day of school.”
I just stared at her. Oh, of course, they are mourning the end of their free days. “Yeah, I mean, what ARE we going to do to entertain them everyday?” Then patted her on the shoulder. She stared at me as if I was the most horrible mother EVER!
“No. That is NOT why I am crying. She is *sob sob* growing up and this is the end of her preschool days.”
Really? I mean REALLY? I looked at her as if she were from another planet. She looked at me as if I were the world’s WORST mother EVER. Totally awkward moment.
“Oookkaaayyyyy, yeah. Ummm, good luck with that.” I kissed Gabrie and pretty much just shoved her into the classroom with a kiss and a have a good day. I didn’t have time for that crap. I had a blind date!
Yes, a blind date. Someone I met online.
As I drive away laughing my “wooohoooo I am free” laugh that I maniacally laugh at every drop off, my cell phone rings. “Mom, I forgot my lunch. Can you bring me something?”
This of course meant a trip to the store to get something to be able to MAKE something for lunch. (Yeah, he totally got a Lunchable.) I raced and dropped it off. As I was at that school, the other son called, “Mom? I forgot my book at home. Can you bring it up?”
PEOPLE! I am dressed in work out clothes and need a shower and am running late for my date! Ugh!
Finally, all errands finished, I shower, do the make-up thing and throw on some clothes. (Yeah, whatever! Totally tried to find a outfit that said “casual yet aware this is a first date.”) Dashed off an email to announce that I was running late and headed out.
Arriving at the restaurant 30 MINUTES LATE, I rush the hostess announcing loudly enough for all to hear, “I am meeting someone and I am SO LATE!” As I start to look around I hear, “Jenn? Is that Jenn?”
I rush around the corner to meet my date. (What? You thinking I was meeting a man? I never said that!)
Hugs all around. Apologies for being late. Then of course, since we have never met in person the first thing I say is, “Girl you have to get over your phone issues so I can call you.”
From there it was laughing and gossip. (Yes, as a matter of fact, we did talk about you.) So much talking in fact that our waitress was about to kick us out if we did not order something. By her fourth trip around I wanted to grap her by her flair and announce, “Muffy or Barbie or Bitsy, whatever your name is, go the hell away and when we are ready to order we will, ohhhh I don’t know….make EYE CONTACT with you at the very least and NOT hide behind our menus ignoring you. Mmmmmkay?”
And then Barbie got my order wrong. But it was good anyway!
Now it would totally not be fair if I didn’t tell you the truth about Lisa. You know that totally kick-ass, funny, warm and adorable persona she puts on with her blog? Totally can’t be real can it? Wrong. She is exactly as awesome in person. She is who you are reading online. Hysterical and oh so much fun. I may have to stalk her. (Sorry, Lisa!)
So go give her some love because she did wait a half an hour for me to show up which means she probably had to deal with Barbie A LOT before I got there.
After lunch was over (damn kids to pick up and appointments to keep), we parted with a hug and a “We totally have to do this again!” Because oh how it would’ve sucked if she was like a bore or a freak and I had to pretend that of course I liked her as I made up lies about how lunch was fun. (Actually, I just would have never said anything about it. I won’t lie to you people!)
So I pick up Gabriella and the tears of everyone. Oh the tears. I tried not to vomit on anyone, but puhleeze! Now, the first day of kindergarten, I may cry. But the last day of preschool? Not so much. Only because I have to play Barbies and be THE main playdate for My Little Pony and such for an entire week until her brother’s get out of school. Then they have to take over. That is why we have such a big gap in the ages. Babysitters and playmates. All in the planning people!
And that was my day yesterday. Today, I am Clubbing Moms. And I NEED you people to go over there and slam down some good questions for me. I know some of you have tweens. Throw me a bone, my friends. Hey, Busy Mom did it. And we all want to rock the world the way Busy Mom does, right? And so did Chris and she has way more kids than you do and she took the time.
Now then, have I sent you to enough people to keep you busy while I Club some Moms? We’ll talk soon. I have yet another project that is going to be both fun and frustrating starting up Monday. You will laugh. You will cry. You will send me Jack Daniels.