Browsed by
Month: June 2006

She had me in stitches (and knots and tears) too

She had me in stitches (and knots and tears) too

So, there is actually another thing I learned on vacation. And I use the term “learned” as one would use the term “LMAO” seeing as I am pretty sure no one has actually “laughed their ass off” as I am relatively sure that I did not actually learn a damn thing.  You see, my cousin’s wife is 7 months pregnant.  So while the rest of the adults were all hedonistic and hell-raisers, she was calm and crocheting.  Crocheting.  At the beach.  (I am not exactly sure what law she broke by doing that, but I guarantee there is at least one I can cite her for.)

Well, by day 5 we were rather sunburned, sun-stroked and sun-over-it in the heat of the day and decided to take a lesson in How To Crochet.  Now when I was in school I knew better than to drink before a big lesson on the basics of a new skill.  You miss that lecture and you are toast for the rest of the semester.  But no one warned me that the lesson was going to be held.  No one took away the Pina Colada before class.  It was SO not my fault.  And yes, I am just saying that to cover my butt in the event that I am just too stupid to get this.

I watched her wrap, loop, pull, loopy, wrapping, tucking, etc.  Oh how easy it looked.  I watched.  I asked questions.  I “learned” how to crochet.  Except that she left.  And I left.  Now what I have managed to do is knot, furl, twist, cuss, fray and bend a crochet hook.  I am thinking I not so much learned as I–monitored and got cocky.

You see, I can do one long ass row.  (Do you even call it a row??) But then…THEN they expect you to turn that bitch around and go back down the other side.  One time I managed to take a row (??) of 30, go back down the side and make it a third the original size when I got back to my starting place.  Not so much right.

Another time I managed to make this really awesome….KNOT. 

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And then there was the time I made the yarn look like a cat had had “relations” with it and then beat the hell out of it.

See?  Not so much “learned” as become totally and completely obsessed.  To the point of walking around my house mumbling and shouting, “But HOW DO YOU TURN?!  For the love of all things yarnish, HOW do you TURN?” My children are a little afraid.  My husband is just protecting his privates from the wrath of the crochet hook and me.  All I can ask is that if you see a crazy lady walking around the streets with a 75 foot chain of what could have been something great but is just a 75 foot long beginning of nothingness but a series of loop wrap pull loop wrap pull until she no longer cared about eating, bathing or even blogging…well, just be nice to me.  And for the love of all things yarnishness, teach me how to freaking TURN.

Yeah, I know.  You are laughing your ass off.  Sure.  And I am still “learning” how to crochet. 

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Lost and Found–friendships renewed through blogging

Lost and Found–friendships renewed through blogging

Okay, so I am all ready to (or fixin’ to if you are a Southern gal) post about other things I learned on vacation when I get an email comment.  (Oh, and about one of the things I learned–total usage of the F-bomb, so people easily offended may need to look for the “f-bomb” symbol and move along when I post about that one.  I’m just saying.) So anyway, I have to tell you why I love blogging and the Internet and Al Gore for creating it and Bill Gates for getting me online and spammers who have subject lines that make me laugh so hard I nearly pee.  Okay, not so much the spammers, but I love everyone else.

As I am likely to be doing about a gazillion times a day, I am checking my email the other night when one comment really gets my attention.  As I am looking at the sender’s name (I do that, you know), it strikes me as familiar but unlikely to be from the person I think.  But as I read the email, the coincidence level was too high for it to be anyone else.  I quickly rush off an email asking “Is it you?  Could it be?  After all these years?” I may or may not have made sense, but I was so excited.  (Now, had this been a mistaken identity, this is where it would go from really cool to totally and hysterically embarrassing because I all but licked the email in excitement.) After nearly 11 years without seeing each other or catching up, my college roommate happened to have stumbled onto Mommybloggers and made a comment having no idea that I had anything to do with the blog. Just like that.  Point A meets Point B and we are reconnected.

The very ironic, cosmic, fate-like thing about this is I have been trying to track her down for the last month or so.  I guess I just wanted to see how she is and where she is and how life is treating her.  Then BLAM the universe plops her right down in my bloggish lap.  And guess what?  She lives like 45 minutes from me.  Here.  Near me. 

And I never would have known had something I written not struck a chord with her and cause her to comment.  So Internet and Mommybloggers and the Universe…..MWAH!  Thanks for returning my Smelly Melly! (Sorry, Mel, I could not resist after all these years!)

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This is why being a “Jenn” rocks!

This is why being a “Jenn” rocks!

imageHave you seen these?  That adorable little package to the left?  Okay, here is a closer view.  And I am taking all of the credit for them.  I am Jenn.  These were my cocktails.  Okay, so maybe this Jenn may have something to say about it.  But if we were like best friends and hung out together and braided each other’s hair at slumber parties, she would totally let me pretend that they were mine because we not only share the same name, but we would totally be BFF!  In fact, I even gave them a place of honor in the adult beverage fridge.  (Much to the dismay of the beer and wine.)

Are you going to BlogHer?  If you are, I will totally hook you up because I am bringing an extra suitcase just to fill them with these.  They are small enough that you can slip them right in your purse without anyone knowing.  Not that I would know that.  Because I totally wouldn’t know.  Honest.

See?  I told you that I would share some of the things I learned on vacation.  This is one of those things.  I learned that I make another Jenn makes some awesome (and so pretty) cocktails.  What did you learn while I was away?

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It’s getting hot in here. (And that does not make me happy!)

It’s getting hot in here. (And that does not make me happy!)

I’m home!  Go on, gush about how you missed me!  I can take it.

imageWhat is the worst thing about coming home?  No, not the 797 gazillion loads of laundry.  Nope, not the ants that have taken over my kitchen.  What is the worst thing about coming home?  The fact that my house was 98 degress inside because my air conditioner broke while we were gone.  Holy freaking hot house, batman!  What does that mean?  It means that even though I have been sleeping in the same room with my entire family for nearly 2 weeks, I got to do it again just a few miles away from my very own welcoming bed. My own bed.  My own room.  Sans kids.  Weep with me. So instead of coming home to the delicious comfort of my own bed, I got back in the car and went to yet another hotel.  At least they felt badly for us and upgraded us to a suite.  And really, I do love my family so much.  But all in one room?  All of the time? Not so much feeling the love anymore.

The good news is that when it comes to air conditioning, I know a guy.  (I mean, we all have to “know a guy” for something.  Mine is the air conditioning because I live in Texas and it is hotter than hell here.) So, I call my guy first thing the next day and he immediately comes over.  First comment?  “It’s hotter than hell in here!” YA THINK?  At that point our air was on but the house was a cool 96 degrees.  I grab him by his shirt and plead, “Make it not so much hotter than hell in here!” And he did.  Of course, that didn’t happen (the cooling off part) until about 3 in the morning.  Until then, there was very little movement.  Talk about holding it until your bladder bursts!  I just didn’t even want to walk to the back of the house because of the sweating.  OH the SWEATING!

But now it is cool.  And my temper is calm.  And life is good.  Not as good as it was on the beach, but good nevertheless.  I will totally tell you about the vacation.  But I have that 787 gazillion loads of laundry to do and that has me weeping.  But I learned some handy, dandy tricks on vacation.  Some not so appropriate and some really practical.  And some that are totally not G-rated.  (Get your mind out of the gutter.  Remember how I said that I shared a room with MY ENTIRE FAMILY for two weeks.  Sex was NOT on the agenda, my friends.)

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Jenn? Where have you been?

Jenn? Where have you been?

This is me:

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This is where I am:

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This is what I am doing:

And this:

So there is not so much work going on with *this:

B L neon_o bes-g

Oh and in case you were wondering, my home is guarded by a friend and this amazingly awesome killer doberbutt (assuming he has not eaten the face off of our friend yet):

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I swear on my love of coffee that I will update you throughout the week.  But for now, you can just look at the pretty pictures.

*[spelling fun with flickr courtesy of Jinkies!]

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Karma or not, I am digging it!

Karma or not, I am digging it!

Yesterday I told you about how Grace inspires me.  And I mentioned Karma.  Lately, it seems that the more I try to give to others–either in word or deed–the more the good stuff comes back to me.  I got two amazingly awesome emails yesterday that made my day.

One from an author who I completely adore and have read one of her books so many times, I just might know it better than she does.  Her email made me giddy and happy.  (Especially the part that said she reads my blog.  The word worship was thrown in there as well. *faint*) So that had me dancing around happy as a *“tornader in a trailer park”!  (Why, yes, I did take my kids to see Cars.  Why do you ask?)

Then, today when I was overwhelmed thinking there is no way I can keep up the pace I have taken on, I got an email from another writer, Natasha Kogan, whom I recently found. (Thankyouverymuch BlogHer Ad Network— I totally want to marry you!) Natasha has absolutely blown my socks of with the work she is doing.  See that book over there on the right—-> The Daring Female.  Seriously, go to her site.  Read the women she has featured.  Read the dares women of all ages and from all over are daring themselves to do.  Add to them!  It is an empowering feeling to be a part of it!  Then, of course, read her book.  I mean it.  Read her book!  (Sorry.  I didn’t meant o get all up in your grill about it.  I should have said please.)

And you see, the funny thing about it was that I totally wanted to tell you about her site and the work she was doing and then that “I WILL NEVER DO ALL I HAVE TO DO” feeling of dread came over me.  Just in time to get her email.  What did her email say that made me actually cry?  Well, the first one said, “GO over here and read the featured Daring Female.” When I replied with the gut wrenching “I am not worthy” email after the day I had, she hit me exactly where I needed to be hit :

“You are gutsy and awesome, and should never feel inadequate!”

I am thinking of printing it and getting a tattoo on my forehead that says that for days like this.  (Of course, it would have to be written backwards so I could read it in a mirror and that would probably freak people out a bit.  But can you imagine the fun times that would create?)

All in all, I have been trying to make sure that I am putting out in the universe the good stuff I find.  Introducing you to the inspiring women I meet.  And then- Blam!- just when I needed it most, the Universe sent two right back to me. 

Karma, baby!  I am lovin’ it!

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