School has definitely started.  How do I know for sure?  Well, it’s not that there is now homework.  And it has nothing to do with the fact that I have to get up at the crack of dawn EVERY day.  It’s not even because of the thrashing and wailing and moaning when I suggest that perhaps a shower would be a good idea.  It isn’t even the bliss of an earlier bedtime for the kids.

How do I know?

Because the school has already pushed my buttons over the most assinine thing ever! Now…well, now, Mama is pissed off.  Without any notification to me and without any indication there was a problem, my oldest son got an ISS-lunch (in school suspension during lunch).  What horrific deed did he do? What rule did he so blatantly break deserving such a punishment?

They don’t like his hair.

That’s right His hair is not “to code” which after searching EVERY piece of information from the school, there is NO hair guidelines.  None.  Anywhere.  I guess his dean is going by the obscenity rule.  “I know it when I see it.” Today, his hair fell into his eyes!  Oh the horror! Oh the shame!  Must. Punish. Severely.  We cannot tolerate a straight A student in all honors classes as well as in the gifted and talented program have HAIR fall into his EYES. 

I mean, I can see the concern.  Longer hair MUST mean he is a gang member dealing drugs and carrying weapons.  *eyeroll*

Now, if I am totally honest, I will admit I am not insane about the hairstyle. But if that is the worst thing he does, I am fine with him expressing himself that way.  It would not be my first choice, but it is his and I respect that.  However, if the school has an issue, should they perhaps contact a parent before putting my kid into in school prison suspension during lunches until the hair changes.  Can I tell you how very, very much I want to shave his hair into a mohawk and dye it purple?  The sheer thrill I would receive to march him back into the school declaring:

“We have cured the horrific crime of long hair in the eyes!  He has been saved and the angels are rejoicing.  He has been cleared of all charges of Long Hair Abuse and can now lead a productive life.  Bless you for saving him from the Hair Curse.  He will now be so much smarter and productive!  Bless you all for your diligence in cracking down on not liking his hair.  We are lucky to have such assinine rules militant thoughtful rules put in place to protect society from his hair!”

Now, I have to decide how to handle this.  I am pissed off enough that I want to fight this idiocy.  But, that would keep my son in ISS.  I want to tell the dean that the life she is lacking should be found so that HAIR is not so offensive to her.  For now, I rant to you and hope that my temper chills before I talk to her.  Because I feel it might not be such a great idea when we are not even finished with the second week of school to tell the dean how I really feel. 

It is going to be a long year, I fear.

Want to see the horrific, violating hair that must mean he is going to be sent to prison or join a gang?  (I will at least admit here that this is straight out of bed before he even brushed it, so this is as BAD as it gets. Yes, my friends, this is worse I have seen it.  Beware.  You may become a criminal by glancing upon his image.  Here you go:

Here is a side view (now brushed!) to get the full effect of his horrfic hair.

I would really love your opinion on this.  Tomorrow, mama is going up to the school.  Wish them luck.

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