Yoga Schmoga

Yoga Schmoga

In order to try to get myself into more of a frame of mind of meditation and less stress (and since many of you commented that my new back to work schedule is not so much doing that), I decided to try some old (and I mean OLD) DVD’s on yoga and meditation.  I thought I would start easy.  I am ready.  This is cool.  It’s all good.

Then Miss Spandex Never Seen Cellulite So What Could She Be Stressed About comes on my screen.  No problem.  I can stay motivated.  She tells me to slowly reach down and touch my toes.  No problem.

Hi there, toes!  Long time no see!  We’ll be seeing a lot of each other over the next few weeks.

Oops. Now it is time to slowly reach up skyward and stretch out that spine.

Reaching I look up in contemplative meditation.

Holy crap! When was the last time I dusted that ceiling fan?  There is enough dust to create a third world dust bunny country.  Must do something about that.

Now back to the toes.

When was the last time I got a pedicure.  And whose idea was it to paint toes that color?  Hideous.  I must find my date book and pencil in a mani/pedi!

Back to skyward.  (So far, not so much relaxing.)

Is that a crack in the ceiling.  When did we get the foundation checked?  Oh crap, if we have foundation problems, that will suck.  I have to remember to call Clint and talk to him about that.

And toes.

This carpet is awful.  When are we finally going to get hardwood floors?  And why do I have to keep touching my toes?  It’s not like they are going anywhere without me.

And stretch up.

Screw it.  I stretched my way to the remote control to watch my Tivo’d Grey’s Anatomy and then walked my in-need-of-a-pedicure toes to the kitchen for a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Everything But The…”

On the bright side, I did sit in the lotus position while eating my ice cream and watching Grey’s Anatomy.  Does that count?


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