The Year Without a Sanity Clause recap is painful.  I set my DVR to record the show.  One, because I couldn’t bear to sit through it all in one sitting.  Two, it was the worst time of the night for me to try to watch TV.  Bath. Stories.  Bed.  And I have the kids to deal with, too.  However, my DVR took one look at what it was recording and said, “Oh, Hell to the NO!” and stopped recording one minute in.  No kidding.  I caught this at about 15 minutes in and starting the recording at that point.  So, I can say that I have nothing bad to say about the first 15 minutes.  In fact, I probably think it was the best part of what I saw.

Where do I start with the horror?  What were they thinking?  I called my sister in dismay and shockq as we bitched about why anyone would take a classic and RUIN it with bad acting, bad stories and BAD BAD costumes.  The Year Without a Santa Clause did not need a make-over.  The new version?  Totally needs a burial.  At sea.  On fire.  With sharks circling.  And then do it all over again.

The horror of the Miser brothers version of the Heat Miser/Snow Miser song?  *shudder* I watched in horror and was not even once tempted to sing it. In fact, I think my whole body went into a state of horrified shock.  Sort of like if you suddenly had a severed head dropped at your feet.  You can’t scream.  You can’t run.  And sadly, you can’t look away.  I was way more moved to jam hot pokers in my ears and scream Noooooooo!  It was like the worst cabaret act EVER.

While we are talking about wrong, can I just say there is just NO place in my favorite movie for a line like “”Stop mackin and stackin’…Trying to make booty calls on the clock?!  That’s too much booty…” Just no.  Don’t hip hop up this show.  (Had it been something else, maybe a giggle would have occurred, but my horror was too great.) Only to later have the line “That’s how we do it in the Arctic.  Throw the A down.” tossed out.  Just…no.

The only thing that did not horrify me was Mother Nature. But that probably has something to do with Carol Kane and my love for her in parts like this.  (Loved her in Scrooged.) At least she gave it something to keep me from throwing a bowling ball through the TV screen.

Over all, it was worse than I thought it would be.  Worse.  How?  I cannot even begin to imagine how it could have turned out worse than my worse fears, but somehow it succeeded.  That was about all it succeeded in doing.

Learn from this, TV executives.  It does NOT work.  In fact, it sucks.  The suck wattage on projects like this burn with the intensity of a thousand suns.  Yes. That much suck wattage.

But enough about my glowing review.  What did you think (if you gave it a chance) which I applaud your pain tolerance if you did.

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