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Month: January 2007

Mommy Hell meet Mommy Guilt. Mommy Guilt meet Mommy Hell.

Mommy Hell meet Mommy Guilt. Mommy Guilt meet Mommy Hell.

Teenager: temperature of 101 degrees

Tween:  temperature over 102 degrees

Kindergartner: temperature hovering around 100

Mom:  hiding in the closet

Help me!  I am in Mommy Hell.  That place when every child (I once had three but I think I might have 6 or 7 right now) is sick and wants and needs your UNDIVIDED attention.

Mooooooom!  Just sit with me.” (I can give you 5 minutes before I have to run to your sister.) GUILT!

Moooooommmm!  Can’t you come lay down with me?” (Sure, sweetie.  I can give you about 5 minutes before I have to go run to your brother.) GUILT!

Mooooooooooommmm!  Why do I have to do this homework when I am this sick?” (Because your school is threatening you and me if you don’t go to school tomorrow* and they think it is better that you do this than be healthy.  Don’t worry.  Mommy is adequately pissed off.) GUILT!

Holy mother of mayhem I am in a ward of infectious people who all want me to help them incubate their germs into my own body in order to rid them of theirs.  (I would if I could!) Is it wrong to spray Lysol through your vent system of your house?  Or worse, to spray your child before hugging him or her?

*No, I am not kidding about the way the middle school is acting.  Yes, the school is saying he has to be there.  Yes, Mom is pissed.  And yes, I hope he infects every child in his class so I can email them all and explain why he was there.

I am in a frantic state of tears tonight because:

(a) I cannot be all things to all of my children right now and they all need me to be there for them and them alone.

(b) I hate my son’s school with such a passion right now and am feeling so trapped that I have no idea what to do.  Transfer schools?  Homeschool? MOVE? (Yes, I am actually contemplating moving to get away from this school.) Go up to the school in my current state tomorrow morning and just by my mere insane look and my wild eyes and freakishly bizarre outfit and scare the hell out of them without ever muttering a word so they will stop bullying me and my son?

And of course the classic:

(c) I have to work but more importantly I have to mother and HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO BOTH at the same time?

Okay, now that I have been a virtual dumping ground and pity party, I have to go back to my closet and cry some more before round two of the MOM-Chorus begins.  Help!

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First Gloria Steinem and then Steve Case. Now I am holding out for Ellen Degeneres to call.

First Gloria Steinem and then Steve Case. Now I am holding out for Ellen Degeneres to call.

I was honored to be asked by Cynthia (a woman you should really read because I totally admire and respect this woman and am actually trying to get her to adopt me!) to be on a conference call with Jenny of Three Kid Circus, Sarah of Sarah and the Goon Squad and Kelly of Mocha Mama to talk to Steve Case about his newly launched Revolution Health.  My first thought was It must be another Steve Case.  Not the Steve Case that is responsible for bringing more people to the Internet than Al Gore.  Yes, it was in fact the Steve Case, co-founder of AOL. 

He wanted to talk to us about the launch of Revolution Health.  Now, this time, unlike my stumbling over my words when speaking to Gloria Steinem, I was able to form complete sentences and ask intelligent questions (or at least questions that I wanted to hear his views on.) All of the women on this call amazed me with their insight, intelligence and in depth questions about this new site.  Steve answered these questions openly, honestly and with ease.  (Yes, as a matter of fact, I was impressed with him.)

Now, I don’t think he will be calling me back personally as Gloria did (she told me to call her that), but I do plan on adding to my business card:

“On speed dial with Steve Case and Gloria Steinem.  Or at least I pretend to be.”

For a full review of Revolution Health, go visit my new review blog at Buzz Review Blog.  I have a lot to say (shocker!) about a lot of things.  But first you can read about my conversation with Steve Case.

Now, I am just holding out for Ellen to call?  Ellen?  Can you hear me?

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Mommybloggers and mothergoosemouse

Mommybloggers and mothergoosemouse

Have you been over to Mommybloggers lately?  You should go! Not only are we finally back in action, but we started with a fun and amazing new guest.  We are speaking with Julie of mothergoosemouse.  Go read the incredible praise her fans have to say.  Check out her fun interview. And today, read her fun essay “Why Miss Manners Isn’t Entirely Full of It.”

Go read what Julie has to say now and come back here later.  I will update here, too.  I promise!

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Tweens and teens with cell phones. Disney has you covered!

Tweens and teens with cell phones. Disney has you covered!

Most of you know I have a teenage boy and a tween boy (along with my almost 6 year old girl).  The boys are at a stage where they want more independence.  And let’s face it, they want cell phones.  When I was contacted by Disney Mobile to try out their new service I thought it would be a great way to simply “introduce” my tween to having a cell phone.  Both boys were excited, but Zarek was really anticipating getting his own cell phone.  Their only worry was that they would get a phone that had cartoons or Disney pictures covering the phone. 

imageWhen the phones arrived, much to their relief the phones were “cool” and they received the “official cool seal of approval.” No Mickey or Minney Mouse covered their phones.  In fact, they looked just as awesome as any other flip phone they might purchase elsewhere.  They received cool silver flip phones.  I have to admit, I liked the way looked as well.  But the purpose of the cell phone was not to look cool.  For me to set it apart from the rest of the pack it had to offer something that other cell services did not.  Disney does that.  And they do that well.  This is truly a family friendly plan.  We have had the VIP service which has allowed us to try out all of the amazing features they provide.  They have amazing features.

I think one of my favorite service is the Family Locater.  This service has the ability for the parent’s to use their phones to track the location of the cell phone of their child using GPS technology.  It is extremely accurate.  (And truth be told, I have used it more than once to find my kiddos.  Not because they were not where they said they would be but because they were going several different places and this way, I knew where they were.  Especially if they were not answering their phone.) I love knowing that as long as the cell phone is on my tween, I know where he is.  Big Brother watching?  Nah.  Just a concerned parent.  Of course, the kids wished that they could track their parents, but it isn’t a two way thing.  (Do my kids really need to know if I am at the mall when I should be at home working?  I think not!)

In addition, they have a Family Alert feature.  This allows any member of the family to send out a message that will be sent to everyone else’s phone.  You know, for those times when you need to let your tween or teen know about a different after school plan or that dinner times have changed etc.  Some days I would just get a message from one of the boys saying, “Hi!” to everyone.  It is nice to be able to keep in touch with the entire family with just one message that gets sent out to everyone.

Family Monitor feature helps you stay in control of your family

Belly Laugh Day

Belly Laugh Day

Do you know what today is?  Yes, it is Wednesday.  Yes, you are right, it is January 24th.  But that is still not what I am looking for.  Today is:  Global Belly Laugh Day!

A little bit of history:

Belly Laugh Day History

In June, 2005 I thought we celebrate love, give thanks, recognize flossing (day after

Thanksgiving USA). Why don

Now that I have tickets to the All Stars Game, I must go vomit

Now that I have tickets to the All Stars Game, I must go vomit

Do you know where I was supposed to be tonight.  At the NHL Hockey All Stars Game.  Do you want to know where I was?  At home vomiting.  SO not fair.  But Clint and Brandon got to go.  AND see people like Garth freakin’ Brooks!  And Brett Hull.  I love Brett Hull. He’s the freakin’ Ambassador of Fun, man.  Ambassador of FUN!  When Clint asked if I wanted him to bring something back to me I shouted, “Hell yes!  Bring me Brett Hull!  Or the shirt off of his back.  Or a sweat stained towel that he wiped his forehead with.  (Even if he wasn’t playing maybe just maybe he had a sweat stained towel.)

Home sick.

This from a woman who told the doctor to hold off on delivering her baby girl until the Stars hockey game was over.  And I got to stay home.  And be sick.  If I wasn’t sick, this would make me SO SICK.  But noooo, Clint insisted that puking on the DART would be a very bad thing.  (Considering that thing makes me nauseous on a good day, it was a real possibility that I would have.  SO?  I mean, I could have taken a barf bag.)

Brett?  BRETT?  I missed you, man.  Forgive me.  Tell me when I can meet you again and I will SO be there.

Garth?  Oh Garth, it has been years.  I have missed you.

*sigh* Now I am sad.  I must go kill things now.

If you want to see pictures of what I got to experience MISS, go to my Flickr account and weep with me.

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