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Month: March 2007

Friday Randomness

Friday Randomness

First, let me thank you all for voicing your opinions on the blogosphere/blog universe/blog thingie-place.  I appreciate those who de-lurked to share their two cents and those who had no problem telling me how they feel about it.  Have I told you people how much I love you?  I do.  I love you, man!  I plan on using your responses in a more detailed entry later.  With all the bad vibes out there, it will be a refreshing change to hear other people’s voices who have faith in the blogs and (for the most part) see it as a mirror of life.  (Please, do not get me wrong.  Things that happen behind the shield of “free speech” piss me off as much online as they do in real life.  Just as threatening women does.  Neither is acceptable.  And both are sick, wrong and punishable. 

But, you, my friends, help to restore my faith and remind me of why I love to do this.  Your emails and comments touched me.  Thank you for being so open with me.  YOU ROCK!  No, you do.  I would totally throw a party for you and sing your praises, but the logistics would make that one tough organizational nightmare.

Since I asked you, I will answer it myself.  What do I think of the blogosphere in general?  Good or bad?  Yes.  In life, I meet people that for no particular reason I cannot stand them and they just rub me wrong.  What do I do?  I stay away from them.  Online, that is the equivalent of just not reading their blogs.  I don’t outwardly call them out and hate on them.  Why?  Why would I?  Of course, like in real life, sometimes these people will constantly cross your path.  It is just the nature of life.  Especially if you –in real life– have kids at the same school or are part of the same organizations or –if in the cyber world you have similar interests that keep your paths overlapping now and then.  You will come across these people. 

You have a few choices: 

— Ignore them.  Let me tell you something about real life with me.  (Granted this is an extreme case, so bear that in mind.) If you cut me to the core, if you hurt me deeply, if I trusted you and you shattered that and stabbed me in the back, I won’t openly hate you.  I won’t trash you.  I won’t do anything.  You no longer exist.  Wiped clean.  You can stand 2 feet from me and you are not there.  *poof* Because I have learned the hard way that I am too sensitive to let someone who will openly cut me back in until I know that *I* have healed.  Until then, you have no place in my life.  And let me tell you how awkward THAT is for everyone around me.  And yes, that makes me bitchy, but it is way more self-preservation that vindictive. 

Case in point, I was hurt so badly by a friend online that even today, I have moments of saddness, anger and frustration.  Moments when I want to make it better, but fear it.  Moments when the name mentioned makes my skin crawl.  However, if at anytime I see things not going so well for this person, I am the first–if not in email, then at least in my heart– to want things to turn around.  I just don’t think you can truly care and love a friend and not want things to not SUCK forever with them.  I just don’t know how people do that.  Or take the instance of judgement.  That is a big one.  I have been judged from everything from being too outgoing to too shy, from too fake to too real, from pretending to be happy to being too happy, from being too honest to wondering why I don’t open up more (sidenote:  IS that possible even??).  I have had it all.  Truth be told, each and every one of the people that I either had a direct fallout with or indirect still mean something to me and I would love to be on good terms with them.  Just not so sure how that goes down.

Thank God for my business partner who bitch slaps me back to reality all too often when these things come down the pike.  Her mantra:  “Yeah, yeah, but how is your BOOK coming along?” Extremely well, I might add.  (Did you read that oh awesome agent of mine?  GOOD!  It is almost on it’s way to YOU!)

But seriously, you all reminded me why I love blogging.  Why I love the people I meet here.  And why I think that the people who read me are the best of the net.  Thanks.  Seriously.  I needed to hear your words and your thoughts and it gave me a great perspective on all of this.  Mwah to you all.

And as a bonus, you get MORE THAN ONE post today.  Look for the other one on why my husband pulled out my favorite line from a movie–from Tom Hanks who loves me best [ahem], adapted it and spouted out to me, “There is NO crying in HOCKEY!”

Also, because you rock…Friday Eye Candy (totally and blatantly stolen from Buzz because he gets me and Matt). So in honor of our former You Post My Man, I’ll Post Your Woman deal we struck years ago, I shall post some Friday Eye Candy to hold you over until I come back and explain, “There is NO crying in hockey!!”

Of course, we have to start with My Matt.  (Special thanks to Sydney for never letting me miss an image of him whenever possible.  THAT is true friendship dedication.)

image

And because I stole Buzz’s idea, I am honor bound by our agreement to post His Kate.

image

Back soon!

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Click me…and again…one more time!

Click me…and again…one more time!

I am on TopMamma today.  You may not recognize me because I used one of my Glamour Shots.  I used this one:

image

(If you click her in the nose it takes you to the page where I get….ummm, I don’t know what I get…but if you then click on this picture again on that page, it will of course bring you back here.  So very confusing, I know.  And why am I asking you to do this?  Hell if I know.  Maybe because I am locked out of my other blog and am totally stressing it.  And maybe because it will bring you back to my “There is no crying in hockey!” story.  And maybe because you love me and don’t want me to look like a TOTAL loser with no click throughs.  And maybe because then you can take out the other people they added today and I can last longer than a day.  SO mature, but I am there, so click me baby. Because I totally know that if I don’t get the clicks then I know that I will totally NOT be asked to Homecoming and then I will NEVER be able to sit at the cool table again and my whole life will be ruined FOREVER!  It’s so UNFAIR. *foot stamp*)

I signed up a long time ago and forgot.  Now, I am going to be kicked right on off that page unless someone clicks me.  (Why do I do this?  Why?  I don’t remember, but I did it and now, well, I have to pay the clickage!)

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go off to Biology class because you know Ms Parker is like so mean and like if I am late like one more time then she like said I would like SO not be able to go to prom and I am SO GOING to prom, people.  Ya know??  (Hey, it felt like a high school moment to me.  I went with it!)

Ohhhh, more more!  Did you notice the ad on the side?  Go Meat!  Totally worth clicking if you want to–and no, I don’t get any bonus click throughs if you click it.  I am just suggesting it because it made my day.  Maybe it will make yours.  GO MEAT!

[Update:  It felt like a silly day.  I get those when I am about to SNAP, so I went with it.]

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The Question for the Masses

The Question for the Masses

Question:

Do you think that the (and forgive me for this word, I don’t know a better replacement) blogosphere is overall a good place or overall a bad place?

I am serious here.

Is it a place where you can be yourself or a place where you better watch your back because someone can and will turn on you if they can?

Is it a place where you can make real friends or a place where you can talk to people who will forget you as soon as you don’t IM them after a week?

Is it a place where the people you do make friends with can sustain a friendship or is it a place where you can find out that the people you thought you knew you really don’t know at all as they are willing to dis you when given a chance?

Is it a place you feel free in or a place you feel stifled?

I really want to know what you think. 

And if you feel that it is a good place, are you a blogger?  If you blog, do you feel you owe anyone who asks that you defend your thoughts, actions or writings deserves an answer until they feel satisfied or do you feel that what you have written for years suffices as a testament to who you are?

Finally, are you willing to ignore it when you see a lynch mob forming online or do you jump in knowing you will be targeted next?

Like I asked when I started this:

Do you think that the (and forgive me for this word, I don’t know a better replacement) blogosphere is overall a good place or overall a bad place?

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Who let the PTA back in?

Who let the PTA back in?

They say that a sign of maturity is to move past things that used to bother you so much in your…well, past.  To learn from your mistakes.  To let go of minor irritations and become a better person.  I say that because this week the PTA is announcing voting declaring the board members for next year.  Guess how I know that?  If you guessed because I am one of them, well….are you NEW HERE?  Seriously smack yourself in the head if you thought that.  If I were the last willing, able-bodied. parent volunteer left of Earth, this group would not put me on a board.  I think I am still under restriction and am blackballed. 

So how do I know that the new board members are about to be announced?  Because I went to a real live PTA meeting.  I know!  In the conference room.  With PTA members.  Totally insane, I know!  But, they are having an awesome program this week on diversity that I really was interested in and wanted to learn more about it.  As the meeting ended, I heard the president say, “So, you will be available to volunteer all day, right?”

Of course that is when I fled from the room, got in my car and drove home to hide under my bed.

But NO!

That is actually when I heard this voice say, “Of course!.”

That voice was ME!  ME, people!  Hold me.

In my defense (and their support), the program is excellent.  And I am going to be working with the kids all day.  But so help me, if one Meanie Mom or PTAnal Retentive Mom starts in on me, it is SO ON.  Oh, gawd, please let them be nice to me.  I don’t feel like going back through the muck and yuck and ick.  And if I am totally honest, I am pretty sure they don’t want to go through it again either.

So, tell me.  This new board…they are going to have real live, real human and really nice people without any meanie moms to be found, right?  Right?!  Because I would really like to be able to play nice with others again.  (And am totally going to tell on them if they are not nice to me again!)

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Spring Break, falling forward and asking Julia a thing or two

Spring Break, falling forward and asking Julia a thing or two

We just got home from Spring Break with the family.  The same weekend as the clocks were moved forward.  That is just mean.  Mean. Mean. And oh so MEAN.  Guess who is too tired to even consider a decent entry or for that matter a decent thought?

Did you guess me?

You are SO right!

We had fun.  The kids wish that Spring Break lasted at least another week.  Truth be told, so do I.  I am not hip on the drive back that is normally about 5 hours taking around 8 hours.  Ugh.  However, the upside to that is that part of the delay was that the kids wanted to see the house I lived in before the one my Dad lives in now (the only other house I knew as a child), so we stopped by on the way out of town.  So what? you may be thinking.  (We’ll talk about how rude that is later.) Well…

As we drove by the house, I saw the Mom of my childhood best friend sitting in her driveway.  Of course I had to get out and rush her and hug her and reminisce.  But even better than that, my childhood best friend was staying there, so I was able to catch up with her, too.  It was completely strange to speak “mother” with her when we still both see each other as 6, 7 or 8 years old yet we both have kids.  How can she have a teenager?  We are so not that old.  Oh, wait. I have a teenager.  Crap.  Looks like we both really are that old.

Good times.

Tired times.

Do you hear my bed calling me?  I do.  Back later with big fun details of how much fun Wii had while we were there.  (No, that is not a typo, but thanks for checking.)

All I can say is that this week off came at the perfect time for all of us.  I am now forced to ask myself: When is SUMMER BREAK coming so that this school year can finally END?!

~~~

On a completely different note, do you just love Julia Louis-Dreyfus and her show The New Adventures of Old Christine like I do? (Of course you do!) I love it if for no other reason than I completely know and have lived through her PTA hellions minions friends.  That and the fact that the facial expressions that Julia Louis-Dreyfus can pull off are nothing but inspirational in my book.  I must study how she does it.  But that is not the point.  The point is, if you love her and the show, now is your chance to “talk” to her. 

BlogHer Co-Founder Lisa Stone will emcee the press conference, bringing your questions to Julia and Kari (the series creator and executive producer) in a 30-minute live interview webcast.  SO, go to BlogHer and check it out.  Then bring it. 

You know you want to.

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It may have tried to kill me, but I am WINNING this war!

It may have tried to kill me, but I am WINNING this war!

I almost named this entry “Lucky Number 7” but that seems so silly when what I am celebrating is so huge.

imageToday marks my 7th “birthday” clean and clear of my need for pills…7 years of overcoming this addiction.  (I will pause now for high 5’s and a few Wooots!)

Seven years.  Approximately 2,557 days.  About 61,361 hours.  And if you think there are days when those hours don’t count, think again.  There are days even now when I just promise myself to get through the next few minutes, then hour, then night and finally I get through the dark time and am soaring again without having slipped.  If you remember, the time leading up to this anniversary always makes me wack.

But I did it.

Today marks SEVEN YEARS since I finally hit rock bottom, had no where to turn and let go (finally) and became clean.  And you know what?  I am damn proud of it, too!

The past year has been hell in my life.  (Like I need to tell you that!) The past few months I have been coming out of this horrific fog I have been in for so long and the best way to describe the feeling is to compare it to someone coming out of a coma after a horrible accident.  No longer numb and therefore, hurting like hell.  A time when you are begging mentally to numb that pain.  Somehow.  Anyway you can find. I am not ashamed to admit that more than once I have been jonesing for a fix to just not hurt anymore.  To just not feel overwhelmed, guilty or not good enough. 

But the thing I can celebrate today is that I DID NOT GIVE IN!  I won this year.  No one can take back these 7 years.  And they sure as hell cannot take back the battle that has been this past year. 

And I won.

Seven years. 

imageAnd though I am all about tooting my own horn when it comes to something like this (because it is a really hard thing to do!), I want to hear from you.  Yes, YOU.  We all have had to face something in our lives that has scared the hell out of us or been a huge challenge that we didn’t think we could get through it.  We’ve ALL been there.  Let’s celebrate getting through the hell, the fear and the hard times…together!

Share with me.  Either here in the comments, email me or blog about it on your own blog and let me know about it.  (I want to do a huge celebratory and overcoming entry where we all can celebrate our victories.  Who knows?  Your accomplishment may be just what someone else needs to read to get through their own tough times.)

Celebrate with me. 

I wanna rock this house, baby.  Because Seven Years is worth a party, don’t you think?

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