One of the traits I have learned to appreciate and adore in people in the past few months in straight forwardness. Honesty. The ability to say something to your face and not behind your back. (Ohhh honey can I tell you the stories that people don’t think come back to me and do! Tsk tsk!) Anyhooo (so Stepford of me to say, I know) that is one of the reasons I adore Karen and her willingness to just tell it the way she sees it. Pulled punches? She has no place for them. Like her recent post “10 Things That Piss Me Off About Blogging.” I could add many to that list, but she does it way better than I would. I would be “nice” and make sure not to rock any boats. Check to make sure that Little Miss Sunshine came out to blog that day. Bleh!
Which sort of leads me to another topic. This blog.
I have a confession to make. I have been cheating on you. No, not with the other bajillion blogs I write/have written for/contribute to/edit etc. No, this one is *shhhhhhh* anonymous. I had to find a way to remember why I love blogging. Why I love writing. WHY I enjoyed this whole process. No one telling me what to write or not write. No stress of whether or not there were any deadlines. Not always waiting to see if you displeased someone or if you would receive that pat on the head. I have started to hate blogging because of the STUFF I have to write about, am asked to write about or must write about. OR the pressure to be someone and then feeling like I am letting people down when that person does not show up. You see when I let myself be free here on THIS blog, the other stuff that I need to do elsewhere falls into place. THIS is my house. THIS is where I should feel at home to be whatever I need or want to be. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. Partially do to the fact that *I* haven’t felt that way in a long time, but partially do to allowing other people to try to define me. What the hell is up with that? (I have no idea how you do it, Kidd! How do you not call in BURNED OUT and never sound off-kilter, my friend?) It is my fault. I get that. I gave into pressure to be something more. Or listening to people who try to tell me that I was. I saw the mold I thought I was supposed to fit into and tried to do that. When I couldn’t, I felt I failed at blogging. Hell, I lost friends over the freaking blogging process.
Lost. Friends. Over. Blogging.
How screwed up is that? In my book, pretty screwed up!
So I want to hear from you. Seriously. If you are a blogger, what would make you stop blogging or start a new one over the old one you have poured yourself into for years? Would you? Where is your line or your final straw? I would love to hear from other people!
(Oh and before you ask, no, I am not going to stop blogging here at MNC. I am just going to get back to doing what I love doing here. Writing what I want to write about, when I want to write about it. Like the fun my family has laughing over the ridiculous. Or how my kids think it is hilarious to watch me play Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution or the Wii. I want to write about how I get into verbal arguments with the U-Scan at the grocery store. Share the ups and downs of writing (or stalling) a book. I want to get back to carefree and not feel the heavy burden of performing like a trained monkey. That is so 2005-2006!)