I fought the chair and the chair won

I fought the chair and the chair won

While on vacation and the night was clear and beautiful, I decided to take the opportunity to enjoy the incredible stars that seemed to go on forever. The best way to see such an amazing sight was from our upper deck with (of course) a telescope. Gleefully hopping up into the bar/deck chair, I lean forward to look at the beauty of nature.

And fall ass over tea kettle.

Ironically, I didn’t even know I fell until I hit the ground with my knee. (Bless the sturdy workmen who did an excellent job on putting up the railing around the upper deck as it kept me from plummeting to my death below.)

Suddenly I am gasping in pain unable to stand up and seeing stars of a different sort. (Before you even ask, I was stone cold sober, my friends.) My older brother was immediately by my side.

“Can you get up? Are you okay?”

“No! I am so NOT okay. My knee must be broken and bleeding and I am sure that I have a concussion!” (Drama much?)

My brother helped me up and then went on with, “…Want me to throw that frickin’ telescope in the ocean. I will get that bitch to the Bahamas!” (I do so love having a big brother to take care of me. )

My knee in fact was bruised and scraped, but not broken or gushing gallons of blood. It was then that the embarrassment hit. To witness my wonderful act of grace was my nephew, my sister, my brother-in-law, my teen and of course my brother.

My nephew is three and kept chanting: “What happened to my Jennifer? What happened to my Jennifer? What happened to my Jennifer?” I wanted to reply, “That son-of-a-bitch chair and I just had a throw down and it won!” but rather replied, “I just fell down. I am okay.”

My sister just laughed. (In her defense, I would have done the same thing had it been her.)

My brother-in-law pretended not to see it as to not have to commit to laughter or sympathy until he saw whether I was going to cry or laugh.

And my teen?

He sits back in his deck chair having never gotten up in the first place and mockingly says, “Nice move there, Mom. Takes talent to fall out of a chair for no reason what. so. ever.”

There was SO a reason. Apparently, I leaned over to look out of the telescope that was BROKEN and fell right out of the chair. But he did have a point. Not my finest or most graceful moment.

So I laughed. What else is there? Then limped my graceful self downstairs for ice. After putting that in my margarita, I got some for my knee.

And that, my friends, is why they call me Grace.

I thought about showing you a picture, but they are not nearly as dramatic to look at as it is to hear about. And you know, the whole “drama” effect works for me.

6 thoughts on “I fought the chair and the chair won

  1. candidyammering, I love when I meet fellow graceful people. We can bump into walls together!

  2. Stacy, the knee is getting better. No limping. Though that did pull in a lot of poor you comments while on vacation. Well, except from those who laughed. Ahem.

  3. Now,Morgan, laughter is good, but respect your elders. 🙂 The bruise STILL has me unable to kneel at all. Which of course means I must not clean the house. Right? Mwah! Miss you tons!

  4. Jenn, It was really quite funny though. But, that gigantic bruise made me wince. 😀 It covered most of your shin.

  5. Oh, that’s too funny and painful at the same time! My eight year old son sounds like he may be within reach of teen’s tude. When I hurt myself, he laughs and says nice going first…worry comes later!

    Funny post…sorry for your pain. I, too, am Grace walking…er..falling….

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