I am not a great sleeper. No. I must amend that. I am not a great nighttime sleeper. I am either working and get so into it that I don’t realize it is 3:47am and I need to be in bed. Or I start playing WoW because my children (aka: little gamer pushers) begged me to do one last quest with them. As I see the sun rise, I ground them all for making me stay up all night. Because, you know, it is all their fault. I am just the tired parent.
Then there are those nights that I try to go to bed like a person not imitating a vampire and read or do something soothing. I was almost there on Monday night. Sleepy. Listening to my soothing, calm sounds on my Zune. I am just about to start making out with Mr. Sandman. Then, without warning Ozzy Osbourne sceams, “ALL ABOARD!” (The beginning of the song Crazy Train for those of you not in the know.) After soiling myself, throwing the demon possessed Zune across the room, hitting the floor to crawl under my bed, and then checking to make sure my heart was in fact still embedded in my chest, I brushed myself off and stared angrily at my bed. Forget sleepy and soothing. Even Mr. Sandman ditched my make-out attempts. I was officially awake.
I wandered into my family room where (of course) my teen was still awake. I mumbled something along the lines of, “What are you still doing awake?” but I think it came out more like, “Crazy Train. Tired. No making out with Mr. Sandman. Tired, so tired.” I attempted to read for a while then went back to bed.
The next day the teen asked me if everything was okay.
“Of course. Why?”
“You seem tired. Really tired. A lot lately.”
“A little. I wouldn’t say a lot. Why do you say there is a lot of tired? That makes it sound bad or extreme. I am fine. Why are you so all up in my grill? I need more coffee. Why are you accusing me of being so tired?”
“I found your cell phone in the refrigerator this morning.”
“What? That? The milk was expecting a call.”
Perhaps I need to look into some better bedtime and sleep routines. I cannot afford for the milk to keep up this cell phone affair.