Matilda knows all

Matilda knows all

I have been having a blast test driving a Ford Taurus X. I adore the navigation system. As I was driving to a movie with my kids yesterday, I decided to program the theater into the navigation system to see if she (yes, the navigation system is a ‘she’ not an ‘it’) knew where we were going. Suddenly, I looked at my son and exclaimed, “I cannot take directions from someone I don’t know. We must name her.”

That of course resulted in an enormous eye-roll.

“Nancy. Nancy Navigator. Nah. Too easy to go there. Won’t work.”

*eyeroll* and a *head shake* “Seriously, Mom?”

“Betty. But Betty what? I don’t have anything for Betty. Nah. Nope. Not Betty.”

“Hey, I liked Betty. Let’s use Betty.”

“I have it!” I exclaimed. “Matilda. Matilda Mapsie. Her name is Matilda Mapsie.”

“Mom, that sounds like a 70 year-old hooker’s name.”

That is when I laughed so hard, I slammed the vehicle into a lamp post and we all were crushed. Okay, that last part didn’t happen. But, the comment. The comment was made.

“Oh, son, you’ve sealed the deal. Her name is SO Matilda now.”

From that point on the rest of the day were comments such as:

“My 70 year-old hooker said to turn here.”
“Hey, Matilda says she wants to stop off and grab some smokes and hit the bar.”
“Oooops, Matilda got that one turn wrong. Must’ve been out too late last night.”

I am SO going to have a blast beating this dead horse 70 year-old hooker.

5 thoughts on “Matilda knows all

  1. That’s name’s too funny, and I can’t believe your son accused Matilda of being a 70 year old hooker!! What’s it with youngsters today, no respect for their elders. lol

  2. Hey – I’m impressed on several counts.
    1) Your son appears intelligent, witty and worldly-wise
    2) You drive a car
    3) You ‘do’ modern technology

    I fail on all these counts – my sons are all cute, one is very intelligent, one is very funny, one is very quick, one is very young – but you have the whole package in one!! I have failed my test twice (once by default by turning up at the wrong test centre and my driving exploits which have taken place at random intervals over 20 years include me reversing into a herd of cows… it is a long story)AND I have to get my teenager to programme the video, operate the mobile phone and download music onto my laptop.

    Why does it sometimes seem that the older we get, the more we have to learn!

  3. I like Matilda. Very cool. I’ve been trying to think of a name for my Honda Civic for almost a year… in the past I’ve had Katie Cutlass, Pretty Penny Pontiac… (my kids helped me name them and they were much younger and less witty than yours appear to be 🙂 ) So, my husband and I are left to our own devices.. NADA.. Honda the Ho, is the closest we’ve come to something remotely interesting.. and that’s fairly remote!

    I became the proud owner of my first piano in May. I’ve named her, and when we go away for the weekend, she gets her own special, “Goodbye, I’ll see you soon.” I’m scaring myself… this is what happens when your kids grow up – you lose the ability to maintain sanity because you have no one to impress… so insanity is a good friend to me these days… Should I name her? Insanity, that is? Should Insanity be a male? Nah… girls do it best!

  4. Oh good lord…Mathilda Mapsie? I’m dying here and I’ve only had one glass of wine.

    I was thinking about:

    Catherine Cartographer
    Mary Ann Map Maker (that is so Gilligan’s Island)
    Zara Zipcode

    Perhaps I should move on to water. Mathilda is the best. Perhaps Mattie for short. For some reason I am picturing Mattie, as Betty Boop, wearing fishnet stockings. I’ve been a mom for too long.

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