Dear Stomach,
We can handle this one of two ways.
Either you just empty everything you have right now and stop this cramping and teasing as I writhe in agony either on my bed or on my bathroom floor
OR
I am going to flood you with so much Pepto Bismol that you will think the Barbie Dream House vomited on you.
I am over playing nice.
Sincerely,
The Person Begging the Porcelain Goddess to make you give it up already
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