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Month: May 2008

Because World of Wifecraft is the new World of Warcraft

Because World of Wifecraft is the new World of Warcraft

Yes, many of you get the glazed over eyes when I talk gaming, but for any of you wives who game AND who have the men in your life game, this video is my new quest. Even the (usually stale) Leroy Jenkins reference is hilarious.

Because damn right I am a level 70, n00b! Hellz yeah!

Blizzard? Figure out this expansion pack stat.

Lost? You don’t know World of Warcraft. If you get it, let me know. I know there are many of you who do!

Kicking it up and out for the PTA

Kicking it up and out for the PTA

This year I decided that I could slowly work my way back into volunteering at the school. So I dipped my toes into put my feet into submerged half of my body back into the volunteering pool. After 5 years of boycotting the PTA, I knew I could do it.

I joined the executive board at the elementary school and got involved again. I was right to give it another chance. This year was wonderful. The elementary school PTA president is amazing as is the entire board. I slowly learned it was okay to be myself with them. To actually be myself. I can speak up and not get shot down. I can ask for help and people step up. I have enjoyed working with this group of women.
I go to the school to do PTA-ish things and enjoy it.

Shocking. I know.

So, when the junior high PTA approached me about perhaps volunteering for that school, I was still in such a “I have had such a great year” high that I said, “Sure! Would love to! Sign me up!” (So cheerful I almost threw up in my own mouth.)

Then reality hit me.

I DID WHAT?!

When the morning of the installation meeting came, I was all prepared to tell the new president at the junior high that I could not possibly be on the executive board. Not at two schools. That I was obviously way too drunk when we talked. Or on crack. Or both. Point was, I was going to quit.

I talked to the people who know me the best and was good to go.  Or good to not so much go as the case was.

I parked my Stepford mobile and marched with my head held high ready to Just Say No!

As I walked, I felt something on the back of my leg. I rubbed to get it off. Nothing. I rubbed more frantically and realized it was on the inside of my jeans.

My first thought? Cellulite just burst out and took over my thigh like an exploding container of cottage cheese.

Thankfully, I was wrong.

I tried to work whatever was caught in my pants leg down far enough to yank it out. I assumed it was a dryer sheet.  So as I walked to the school I was doing what could only be described as my best imitation of Elaine dancing on Seinfeld.  I know I looked ridiculous and I also knew I was on camera because they have them everywhere.  If anyone in the office was watching, they were getting a good laugh.

As I entered the building, I realized I would just have to go to the faculty bathroom and snag whatever it was. But ever the optimist, I did one last spastic shimmy kick of my leg to free the object.

And then to my horror as I stood in the middle of the main foyer of the junior high during class changes, I kicked free the object.  Out flew a pair of back lace panties that must have become stuck in the leg of my jeans when they were washed.

Immediately I scooped up my free flying underwear and stuffed them into my bag looking around to see if anyone noticed.  Duh. A MOM flinging her underwear across the hall?  No way it went unnoticed.

I entered the office as the office manager tried to hold back a laugh as she signed me in.

“You saw nothing. If you did see something, it was all your imagination.  Cool?”

She just looked at me and laughed.

Needless to say it rattled me enough that not only did I not quit, I accepted the position with a smile on my face and got the hell out of there at the first opportunity.

I do believe that I have been assimilated into the Stepford way of life.

Hold me.

Anita Renfroe- Dadsense (Because Momsense made some Dads jealous)

Anita Renfroe- Dadsense (Because Momsense made some Dads jealous)

You should know by now that I am on a great crusade to get Anita Renfroe to become my BFF. We are well on our way. I have worked with her to make sure that the video posting was okay and that I had the correct lyrics for Momsense.

Well, apparently with the popularity of the Momsense video made a few Dads jealous. (You can see the Momsense video here on Mommy Needs Coffee as well as the lyrics to Momsense here.) So being the amazing woman that Anita is (I can so call her that seeing as my application for BFF is being processed), she did another song in response. This one is for the Dads.

If you really need the lyrics, I can post them. Just let me know.

Go show Anita Renfroe some love. She has most definitely shown it to me by sending people (aka the New York Times and other publications) my way for lyrics etc. And tell her her BFF in waiting sent you. (Yeah, you may have to give a full name, url and application number but really…she’ll totally know me when you mention the whole meeting for coffee date we have planned.)

Note to Anita: I am still waiting for the Kidsense version. I will so promote that one every week!

NOTE: I do realize that there are a ginormous amount of hands on Dads. We love you. We cherish you. We need you. Surely, you know this is meant to be funny, right? Truth be told, my husband rolled his eyes but still laughed. Please, take no offense. Anita Renfroe rocks and is never, ever one to offend. It is all comedy. I’m just sayin’.

Re-copying a poem after 28 years–for Mom

Re-copying a poem after 28 years–for Mom

When I was about 10 years old, I wanted to give my Mom something homemade for Mother’s Day. I was too old for noodle art and too young for anything that involved going out to get something to create a masterpiece. So, I decided to sit down with a pen and paper and copy down one of her favorite poems. The handwritten words took a bit of a downhill slop as I neared the end of the page. Some words were crammed in to fit onto one line. It was far from perfect but completely from the heart.

I credited the author and then signed my name and the date. I framed it and wrapped it. I remember her eyes brimming with tears when she opened it. I felt such pride that I gave her something she cherished.

She hung up that poem in the vanity area of her bathroom so that it was the first thing she saw every morning. As the years past, the ink began to fade. In fact, after a couple of decades it was hard to make out what exactly the poem said. But she knew. And I knew. That is what mattered.

I knew the poem held special meaning to my Mom. It wasn’t until I became a Mom myself that I fully grasped why her eyes filled with tears that day and how ironic that was.

It was more than a year and a half after her death that my Dad took down that poem. He asked me if he could before he did. Part of me wanted it to stay hanging there forever, but part of me knew it was time to take down it down. (It now hangs in my vanity area– unreadable and in the scrawl of a 10 year old’s hand, but something I “read” daily.)

So, Mom, here for Mother’s Day I will once again post the words to your favorite Mother’s Day story. This one won’t fade. I miss you, Mom. I will always love you.

Read More Read More

Clean-up on Aisle 4! Crazy lady peed!

Clean-up on Aisle 4! Crazy lady peed!

I know better than to go to the store late at night. The check-out staff is down to one or two or you are stuck with the horrid U-Scan piece of torture. But, alas, I had to go pick up things that they kids simply HAD TO HAVE by morning.

However, apparently I chose to check out at just the wrong time.

You see, the checkout stand right beside me had big drama going on. And by big drama I mean, there was great dispute over a 35 cent coupon. Was it a double coupon? A triple coupon? Can we take this? Oh the severity of the situation! It took 4 checkers and an assistant manager to try to figure out the problem.

Which of course was of great interest to the woman checking me out. She did not care one bit that I was standing there. She was so focused on the BIG DRAMA of the coupon issue, she heard nothing I said to her.

Our conversation went about like this (as she only looked at the other checker and not at all at me):

Checker: Do you have your club card?

Me: You are holding it.

Checker: I can wait.

Me: Sure here you go. See! Right there in your hand. I am so good! Score! (Sarcasm beginning to hit a high point for me.)

Checker: (while oh so busy fretting over the coupon caper DRAMA): So, ma’am, did you find everything you needed?

Me: Actually, no. I couldn’t find your bathrooms so I PEED on Aisle 4.

Checker: I’m sorry. Did you need a raincheck for that?

Me: Nope. Totally took care of the situation then and there and feel much better now.

Checker: Good. Glad we could help.

That was really our conversation. Now, the line was about 7 people deep and the woman behind me was about to literally wet her pants laughing. All this time the checker was oblivious.

But really? Totally worth the laugh to mock her. As I left she gave the standard, “Come again!” to which I replied, “Didn’t come the first time, but here’s to hoping for the next time!” She just nodded at me and told me to have a good night.

Gotta love that customer service!

Suri Cruise’s Ladybug Shoes from Skimbaco rocked Oprah

Suri Cruise’s Ladybug Shoes from Skimbaco rocked Oprah

I miss Gabriella’s tiny little baby girl clothes. Especially the shoes. I can melt right there on the floor for a cute pair of little girl shoes. Did you see those adorable ladybug shoes in Suri Cruise’s mudroom closet on Oprah last week? These Ladybug shoes are from an awesome Colorado-based company called Skimbaco. Getting a plug on Oprah is huge! Skimbaco’s ladybug shoes are made by Monkey-Toes, a Denver-based company, and are handpainted to order.

You can watch the video yourself and see how Tom specifically shows the shoes for Oprah.Watch the video. The shoes are at the 1:38 mark.

Skimbaco is a one-woman-show. She is a mother of three and works 14 hour days trying to get her store going. She has worked very hard and built the company with a shoestring budget.

Because I adore her and love her store, (and so you will go to her site and see how much she has to offer–not just for kids) I’m going to give away a $30 gift certificate to Skimbaco.

Just visit www.Skimbaco.com and then comment on this post telling me which Skimbaco product is your favorite. You’ll then be entered to win. The winner will be announced May 16th. The contest is open to U.S. residents only. (Sorry all of my non-US friends and readers.)

Help support this mom owned business. (And possibly win something in the process!) Go see Skimbaco!