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Month: August 2008

True tales of a mean PTA are revived. I know you missed them!

True tales of a mean PTA are revived. I know you missed them!

I am here to tell those of you who were saddened by my sudden admiration for the PTA board that I was serving on would cause me to lose that edge when mocking the PTA.  I am here to tell you…the mocking is alive and well!  No, not from my Good Board.  From my Mean Board.

I recently had a run-in (several by email) with a PTAnal Militant Mom.  You know the kind.  Former president who thinks she still runs things.  Spends all summer working on PTA things and expects the same of you.  Is rude and mean.  Why, yes, it is junior high. All over again.  But meaner.  (I didn’t think that was possible.)

Anyway, the email exchanges have become downright comical.  What is that you ask?  Will I share them with you? Of course I will!  But let me let them run their course because people, THIS is why it is so hard to find parents willing to help out on the PTA.

Help.   I think I need to go back into the PTA Volunteer Protection Program.  Anyone want to house me for my own safety for a while?

At least I have my Good Board.  They are friendly and open to newcomers.  The new one? Well, let’s just say I check my bed nightly for severed horse heads. (Yes, a Godfather reference.  Sue me. No don’t.  I have enough problems to deal with  right now.)

So for those of you that know me and see me show up in sunglasses, a wig and a hat…pretend you don’t know. I am hiding from the Mob PTA.

And do not even think of saying “I told you so” or I will send them after YOU.

And for the record…my Nice Board has no PTAnal Militant Moms OR PTAll Moms on the board. We are all just there to help.  For that I owe them my eternal loyalty and gratitude.

Scary than Friday the 13th. More real than Survivor. It’s Bib!

Scary than Friday the 13th. More real than Survivor. It’s Bib!

You thought I was kidding when I said I was afraid of the Michelin Man.  I was so not kidding.  In fact, thanks to the amazing photographic talents of my good friend, lawyermama, the moment that I tried to overcome my fear was caught moment by moment on film.  Below the image collage is a play by play of the moment–with my personal commentary on each photo underneath the set.

Do not judge me.  Or I will sent Bib to your house to…under inflate all of your tires.  And that is BAD!

(photo set courtesy of lawyermama–who totally rocks!)

So here is the image by image captions:

  • 1- Go ahead and put your hands out, Bib.  I am not coming to you.
  • 2- Okay, I will come, but I won’t like it.
  • 3- LOOK!  I am grabbing hands with you and you are not trying to smother me with your white rolls of Bib horror!
  • 4- Awwww, see!  I can hug you.  I am totally okay.
  • 5- Oh My Gawd!  I hugged you!  I have to go. NOW.  YOU STAY!
  • 6- Please save me!  Don’t let him get me. Oh, the horrors of the puffy Michelin Man! Save me!
  • 7- You people are horrible to traumatize me like this!  I want my mommy.
  • 8- Okay, seriously. I am not crying. There is something in my eye.
  • 9- Well, maybe it was a little funny.  See?  Totally trying to laugh about it.  (Still? NOT FUNNY!)

So there you go.  I have outed myself as a total freak when it comes to the Michelin Man.  Deal with it.  At least my tires are fully inflated AND I got to drive like a professional driver on a closed course with Raymond.

Oh, and as a token of good will, I have and will keep my Bib (Michelin Man) keychain on my keys to remind me of our moments together.  (Not like I will forget.)

A Hair Razing Tale

A Hair Razing Tale

“My oldest teenage son came to me at the beginning of the summer proclaiming, “I want a Mohawk.” I am sure that he was waiting expectantly for the list of reasons that he would not be able to have something so radical done to his hair. The reasons I would stand in the way of his hair-razing scheme. A defiant and unwavering no was certainly the response he waited for….”

Read more at Parenting