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Month: May 2009

Mother’s Day Apology

Mother’s Day Apology

I hear tomorrow is Mother’s Day.  Do you know how I know that?  Because I have received more emails in the past week telling me what I want and what my readers must want that it must be true.  Do you know what I want?  I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want…  (Ooops…sidetracked moment there.)

This was hilarious.  I am sure this won’t come until my own daughter has a child of her own.  Yet, it still made me laugh.  It did not, however, make my ass, thighs and tummy laugh.

I am sorry but when I spewed my coffee when I saw this one, I knew a few of you sick readers would laugh, too.

Check all 6 out. Some are funnier than others but really? We could all use a laugh, right?

Happy Mother’s Day and stuff.

And on the 8th day, massages were created

And on the 8th day, massages were created

Today as one of my Mommy Missions for Mommy Madness, I had to go get a free massage at Massage Envy.  I know!  The Torture!  Our first mission was taking the Traverse shopping to Kroger.  Mission?  Try daily activity!  But this is a mission I think they need to force us to go on every week to ensure we are calm when we are driving our Traverse.  I’m just saying!

A free massage where I did not have to start it with begging, reciprocate to get the hour long treatment, and I didn’t  even need to put out afterwards as a thank you.  Though a good nap would have made it perfect.

As I lay there being spoiled I had a chance to just think.  I know you are supposed to relax but my mind is never still.

Even though we have been trying in vain to rid Brandon of whatever is making him so sick, and even though Zarek put three different schools into a panic thinking he had the swine flu, and even though I am really searching for more hours in a day to actually get the things done that I need to do, I realized how very blessed I am.

As the knots were worked out, the kinks de-kinked and the tension in my shoulders finally release, I began to think about the things that have been stressed out so much lately.

Worrying about being the PTA president next year.  But?  I am so honored that the women I most admire trust me to handle such an enormous job.  They have faith in me.  I have a great team of beautiful people to work with me.

Worrying about the fact that my boys were sick and we were all in lock down.  But?  I have been able to spend quality time with all 3 of the kids while their guards are down.  I have been able to take care of them and let them be vulnerable.  We actually talked.

Worrying about my blog and blogging and how things are changing.  But?  I am able to come here any time I want and write whatever  I want without anyone telling me what to say or how to write.  No editorial guidelines.  And?  It brought me my amazing column that I write for Parenting Magazine.  And?  It brought me my agent.

Worrying about not finishing my book.  But?  As I stuggle with one, I have finished a second and am on a third.  Mainly because when the first one gets really, really tough to work through, I have the ability to switch gears and write things that are funny.

I am blessed.  And OH. SO. RELAXED.

I will upload my video later.  You can see me go from total excitement to totally Zen Chill.  It is pretty funny! You will enjoy it.  Or  not.  Right now I am too relaxed to care.

And remember that if YOU go into any and get your very own North Texas Chevy dealer and test drive the Chevy Traverse, you will get your very own gift certificate for a one-hour massage to any Massage Envy location in Dallas/Ft. Worth. (Be sure to let them know Jenn sent you!)  Also, ladies, if you want someone to go with you to take your test drive, let me know and I will meet you up there and we can cruise together!

Now that I hit My Motherload, I am going to have to learn to cook!

Now that I hit My Motherload, I am going to have to learn to cook!


Now, those of you who know me and know my stories know that I am infamous for my lack of cooking skills.    (As in was called by an Oprah producer to do a segment about it.)  I have even caught frozen vegetables on fire.  You didn’t know that was possible, did you?  But, my goal this summer is to learn to cook.  No, I take that back. To learn to love to cook.  (I know.  But, hey, if I can become the PTA president, I can learn to love to cook, people.)

So you can imagine the squealing and screeching that went on here here when I got an e-mail from  Mom Central asking me to test drive a Freestanding Range and Over the Range Microwave from Frigidaire’s new collection of 250 kitchen and laundry appliances! For real?  A brand spanking new Range for me to learn to cook?  I love it already.  (The microwave will be a double special bonus!)  The whole line has been designed to give moms more free time away from the kitchen and laundry room.

Look what will be gracing my kitchen (and not just to store sweaters either!) *Click the images for a larger looksie!*

electric_rangeYes I will be actually cooking meals on this bad boy.  If you promise not to tell my husband, I am really looking forward to getting stared.  I may even invite you over for dinner sometime.  Okay, that may not happen because there are a lot of you!  But click on that sweet thang and see why I am actually eager to get started.  I can learn the range and cooking at the same time.

But?  What if I am way too busy to cook a real meal on a stove or in the over? No problem.  To save me time, Frigidaire has blessed me with an amazing Over the Range Microwave.  Seeing as I ripped the handled off of my old one about 10 years ago, this will be sweet.  I suppose you want to see it too?  I know you do!  Check out my other sweetness.  otr-microwave

I am so honored to have been chosen by Mom Central to be a part of Team Range/Microwave.  I cannot wait to start test driving these.  I know my family will be happy to actually have home cooked meals, too.  I will keep you up to date on my learning process and my love for my new appliances.

Now, you too can win one of these amazing appliances that are being offered at My MotherLoad. To win, simply report the five things you would do with an extra hour each day. (I know you all have things you would do with an extra hour in a day!)  All participants will be entered for a chance to win an entire suite of new Frigidaire appliances.  Plus, check out the other prizes you can win – like a gorgeous new Frigidaire Affinity washer/dryer.   They are super awesome and you know you want all of these.

Also, become a fan on the Frigidaire Facebook Page and keep a lookout on the new time I have gained. Follow all of us moms on Twitter. It will be fun to see how we handle the new products.  Especially for those like me who receive an amazing gift of not only a new range but a new outlook on cooking and family meals!

Now, of course to make it all legal and official, here it the button.


When Life Makes Blogging Take a Backseat

When Life Makes Blogging Take a Backseat

First, I know you want to read something fun or of substance from me.  Go read (and comment) over at Mommy Madness DFW to read about my weekend freak out when I heard an explosive sound and knew my Traverse was totaled outside.  Oh and remember to vote because you love me and I shall cry if you don’t.  Or not. But vote anyway because you can!  Then? Since you just cannot get enough of me,  hop over to Parenting and read this week’s column.  It involves noodles and crayons.

Okay, so let’s see how much you really know about me.  Pick the real reason I have been too swamped to keep up with my blog this week and last.

1. The PTA is busy sucking out my Brain.
2. The Swine Flu.
3. I have been too busy working on my book(s).
4. Blog? I have a blog?

So?  Which one did you choose?

My long time readers probably looked at #1, laughed and said for sure that must be the one.  If you live locally or anywhere that gets news coverage you probably rolled your eyes since everything and everyone is up in arms over the Swine Flu so you may have chosen that as a default.  If you are my agent, most definitely you should choose #3 and believe it with all of your heart.  And many of you have read too many posts like this and knew the real reason was probably #4.

The winners? Those of you who chose….

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