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Month: August 2009

Of all the features of my new Frigidaire oven, this makes me the happiest!

Of all the features of my new Frigidaire oven, this makes me the happiest!

When I first heard about the features of my new Frigidaire range and microwave, one feature really stood out for me. In fact, it made me downright giddy to think about.  One of their bragging points include:

With True Convection, you can easily and evenly bake 200 kid-approved chicken nuggets in 10 minutes flat.

With True Convection, you can easily bake 200 chicken nuggets in 10 minutes!
With True Convection, you can easily bake 200 chicken nuggets in 10 minutes!

Did you read that? 200. Kid Approved. Chicken Nuggets.  How cool is that?  Now, quite honestly, I have no idea under what circumstances anyone would need to cook 200 chicken nuggets in 10 minutes.  From a gaggle of hungry kids, to chicken nugget eating happy kids in a mere 10 minutes.  I don’t care who you are, that is come cool technology there!

So of course, like a kid with a new toy I was constantly asking if we could fix 200 chicken nuggets every night since our beautiful range was installed.  Each time I was met with an eye roll as my husband was enjoying cooking gourmet meals with  our new convection oven feature.  (And using the “Keep Warm” feature to not be frustrated when our kids staggered in at all different times to eat.)

Finally, the night came when Clint was not home to cook for his family.  Guess what!  Chicken nugget night!

Guess what I forgot to do? Use the chicken nugget button.  I was so upset.  I was looking forward to it for a month and then missed my chance.  (For the record- I cooked chicken nuggets the very next night and baby, I definitely used my chicken nugget button.  Alas, I could not find 200 chicken nuggets to cook so I only cooked enough for my own kids.)

But it is not just 200 nuggets that make me happy.  Look what else it features:

The specific time-saving features of my range are:

· A handy Fits-More™ Oven offers a unique rack configuration to give you more cooking space. (Based on single rack cooking performance, not set temperature, using Quick Preheat. )

· Thanks to Quick Preheat you’re ready to go in less than 6 minutes! (Does not include preheat time)

· With True Convection, you can easily and evenly bake 200 kid-approved chicken nuggets in 10 minutes flat.

I’ve said it before, I will say it again…I am in love!  You will be too if you have one of these!

This post was written in conjunction with Frigidaire and Mom Central. I was sent a Frigidaire stove top range and microwave to try out with my family. All of the opinions expressed in these Frigidaire posts are mine and mine alone.

Moving is hard. Not moving can be hard, too!

Moving is hard. Not moving can be hard, too!

I had no intention of writing about blogging as your passion and then not blogging again for weeks.  I suppose that is the trouble with blogging your life– sometimes life gets in the way of blogging.  Things have been so busy and overwhelming, i don’t even know where to start.

I will start with one and just post others as I have time.  (Including helping clean up and pack my childhood home so my Dad can move and becoming and stumbling with being the elementary school’s PTA president.)

Last weekend my daughter’s best friend moved.  They have been best friends since kindergarten.  When you are in third grade, that is practically a lifetime.  That is a hard transition for a kid.  What makes it harder is that her best friend’s mom is also one of my best friends.  We certainly feel the loss of this family deeply.

I suppose it helps my daughter to see that she is not alone in the feeling of loss. We spent last Saturday evening after they left snuggled under blankets watching movies.  Of course, I would have chosen different movies, but in this case the movies of choice were High School Musical 1 and 2 and started on 3 but it became too late to get through it.   (I know.  It is heartbreaking to have not finished the 3 movie marathon.)

For Gabriella making new friends or bonding with friends she has known in her class but she was not close to is a bit easier.  You just start playing games on the playground or sit with them at lunch or even share your coolest toys.  I wish it was as easy for an adult like me.

When I was talking to my sister I compared it to being divorced.   You are still there and you still there and you still have the same people in your life but your “partner in crime” is gone.  It is hard to try to open up again in a new way with old friends when you are, well, old(er).  They have their “groups” and the people they do things with already firmly established.  How do you break into a new group when you have never been a part of it before.  Adults can be set.

Don’t misread me.  I am not sitting home all alone whining about “poor me” for feeling alone.  I am trying to open myself up to new opportunities and new friends.  I am just not as good as it as I was in 4th grade when it was easy to just assume that of course it is okay to just say “Let’s be friends!” and you have a new group of friends to run with when you want it.

When I find myself worrying about it, I take a step back and think about my friend.  She is in a new city, a new home, a new school with none of the familiar things around her that she has come to know so well living here for over a decade.  I at least have familiarity.  I talk to her and do what I can do to help her realize how wonderful she is and how she will be surrounded by new friends in no time.  Every ending brings with it a new beginning.  Her ending of her life here is a fresh new beginning for her.  And, by the same token, I need to remember that her moving (an ending for me) is a new beginning for me as well.  I just need to figure out how to embrace that.

For now, I am taking my daughter’s lead and opening up to new experiences and new people. And?  Trying to figure out how to open up to the “older/familiar” friends that have been in my life.  Sometimes my brain just takes me back to high school mentality.  I admit it.  I feel like the geek girl trying to break into the “popular girl” clique.  Maybe I should buy a shirt that says, “My BFF just moved…wanna be my friend?”

Or maybe that is overkill.

Or maybe I am just really hard to approach.  I don’t know.

What I do know is that change makes us grow.  This past month I have seen plenty of “growth” to last me for a year.   So, I  am giving a shout out to life….Settle down.  I need to catch my breath.

And?  I’m just asking…wanna be my friend?

Why I was so happy to test drive a new microwave and stove: 3 words- White trash microwave

Why I was so happy to test drive a new microwave and stove: 3 words- White trash microwave

So before I show you how much I love my new range and microwave, let me show you what I have been working with for well over a decade.

Now, if you had to deal with that wouldn’t you want to kiss someone right on the mouth if you were offered a new microwave and stove top range to test drive?  I certainly did!

It may sound a bit unorthodox to say that I fell in love with a Frigidaire stove top range and microwave but after what you just saw, can you blame me?  I mean COME ON!  Look at what graced my home and tell me you would not feel the same way.

But they are more than just pretty, they are practical, easy to use and so inspirational in the kitchen.  I want to cook.  Okay, so maybe the desire is for the one touch chicken nuggets and popcorn is driving me on, but regardless of what caused me to fall in love, the fact of the matter is I am learning to cook as if I was never a cooking disaster.  I am enjoying my kitchen.  I am loving cooking for my family again.  That is a beautiful thing for me.

And when I do have those kitchen disasters, they are so easy to clean up.  Easy to clean.  Those are three words I love! Just check it out!

· Real Stainless Steel: Real stainless steel with a protective coating that reduces fingerprints and smudges so it’s easy to clean.
· One-Touch Self Clean: Start the self-cleaning cycle with just the touch of a button.
· Quick Clean – For a quick, light oven cleaning

Mommybloggers: Integrity, Community and Taking Back the Respect We Earned

Mommybloggers: Integrity, Community and Taking Back the Respect We Earned

Back in 2005 before the first BlogHer conference, two amazing women- Jenny of Three Kid Circus and Meghan of I’m A Bloggin’–  were asked to be on a panel about mommyblogging by BlogHer co-founder Elisa.  I was honored to be asked by Lisa Stone to join them.  We were told it would be a small room and not to feel bad as it may not have many attendees.  In fact, I believe the words “mommyblogging” and “passing phase” were used by Elisa.  (Yes, we laugh about that now seeing as there was an entire track dedicated to mommybloggers in 2009.)  You see, back then mommybloggers were at the very bottom of the blogging food chain.  We were just moms writing as a “little hobby.”  We were not taken seriously.  We were not respected.  We were the frivolous bloggers who would go away soon enough.   During that session, the room was filled to capacity.  Not only were other mom bloggers present, but tech bloggers, literary agents, a reporter and others who were just curious to see what we had to say.The main topic of conversation that first year at the first BlogHer during their first mommyblogging session was the phrase “mommyblogger” itself.  Was it derogatory? Was it demeaning?  Do you we fight it or embrace it?  Many opinions were shared that day but the bottom line came down if “they” were going to call us mommybloggers, we were going to make it a phrase to be proud of when we were labeled with it.  Many women that day did not want to be labeled at all. Especially not labeled a mommyblogger. At that time it was “uncool” to be a mommyblogger.  We did not have respect.  We did not have the “power” that other kinds of bloggers had.  In fact, it was almost a joke to be called a mommyblogger.  We did not have the media clamoring to talk to us about our blogs.  There were not agents knocking on our doors for book deals.  We certainly did not have marketing representatives or PR professionals coming to us for our opinions.

Alice of Finslippy said it best when she stood up at the closing keynote and declared, “Mommyblogging is a radical act!”  And?  It was.  At that time, to be called a mommyblogger and have a mommyblog was radical.  We had to fight for any respect we received.  We had to work hard to earn any recognition that was not negative.  It was radical to embrace (or even accept) being called a mommyblogger.

What did we walk away with that day?  If “they” were going to continue to label us mommybloggers, we would make it a term that was synonymous with respect, integrity and quality writing. The opinions and writing styles represented by the women in that room at that panel were as varied as the writers behind them.  It wasn’t as if we walked away holding hands and singing Kumbaya.  We weren’t suddenly some bonded community that adored each other and created a uniform way of mommyblogging.  For goodness sakes, some of us didn’t even like each other but we did respect the writing represented by each one of us  Regardless of any of our differences, we did agree on one thing:  We would no longer sit back and be disrespected for being a mommyblogger. We were not going to sit at the bottom rung of the blogging ladder and be content.  As a collective of individual writers, we were taking back the term and demanding respect. Not by telling people to respect us.  Not by storming the gates of the media and demand they respect us.  No, we gained respect through our writing.  Call us what you want–label us what you want– we were first and foremost writers.  Good writers.  We just happened to write about our family lives and our children.

Part of embracing the term was starting the site Mommybloggers.  I registered it and went to Jenny and Meghan and asked if they wanted to start a site that focused on featured the quality writing of the amazing women who were labeled “mommybloggers.”  Thus, a we began to shine a light on how amazing these women writers really are.

It was inspiring to see the changes in the perception of mommybloggers after that first year at BlogHer.  We mommybloggers  proved through our writing that we were a powerful group of bloggers.  We showed that the power of our blogs reached much further than our immediate family. We could change the world with our words on our “little mommyblogs.”

Many of us that day were blogging long before some of the “big name” mommybloggers of today even had children.  Yet, when they became moms and were suddenly labeled mommyblogger, they brought even more respect to our community.  Simply because they were popular?  No, not exclusively.  Because they could write well and they did so with confidence and authority and wouldn’t let the label mommyblogger change that.  It was an exclamation point on what we were doing. And I admire them immensely.

The fact of the matter is, those of us who were blogging at and around that time were pioneers in the mommyblogging field.  We did it with pride, openness and quality.  We told the stories of our lives.  We shared stories about motherhood honestly and without apology.  We took back the term “mommyblogger” and made it synonymous with power, integrity and respect.  We worked hard to gain that respect.  We fought for it. We earned it.  And even those who did not want to be labeled at all could be proud when referred to as a “mommyblogger” because we all made that happen.  Together.  Individually with our own blogs.  Yet together.

In the past year or so a new crop of mommybloggers has popped up.  Many women who are a part of this new breed of mommybloggers have come to the scene heralding with much pomp and circumstance a sense of entitlement.  They feel they are owed something.  They feel just by slapping the label mommyblogger on their blog (blogs where they barely if ever write about their personally lives or families at all), they have earned the same respect as those who are writing quality stories that engage their readers.  Do not misunderstand me.  I am under no circumstances saying that this includes all new mommybloggers.  I don’t care if you started blogging 10 days ago or 10 years ago.  It is not in the length of time blogging but in the attitude behind it.  There are some absolutely amazing mommybloggers who are just starting out who I absolutely respect. It is not about being new.  It is about being a part of the “new breed” that is stirring things up.

What do I mean by a ” new breed” of mommybloggers? I am talking about the ones who project an air of entitlement because they are a “mommyblogger.”  I am talking about the ones who shout so loud to marketers that the rest of us can barely be heard above the clamor. I am talking about the ones who behave rudely to PR people who do not give them what they want, complain if someone else got something they did not, or cry foul if they are not the ones sent on a trip that other women took.  I am talking about the ones who try to tell others how to make PR work for them and how to get the best things and how they deserve those things.  In the midst of all of the noise and self declared importance, where is the quality writing about life and family that actually brought respect to the mommyblogging community?

Now, before you even go there I will say that I do not have a problem with working with the media. (I have done several interviews both in print and on tv.)  I do not have a problem working with marketers or PR representatives.  (I have great relationships with many, many of them.)  I do not have a problem with sending bloggers on trips to teach them more about a product and show them firsthand where it all starts.  (I have been on a few of these and have referred many other mommybloggers for these trips when asked.)  And finally, I do not have a problem with free products, product reviews or working with a company to test a new product. (I have done all of those more than once.)  I do have a problem with assuming you are entitled to it, demanding you receive it and throwing an Internet hissy fit when it doesn’t go your way.  I have a problem with behaving so poorly and rudely that the term “mommyblogger” is suddenly becoming synonymous with greed, rude behavior and a self important sense of  entitlement.

Who do you think brought those marketers and media to your blog?  Those of us who fought (and still fight) to bring respect to the term “mommybloggers.”  Our writing, not our shouting, demanding or grabbing gained us the respect this new breed feels entitled to have.

This weekend I heard bloggers that I admire and respect say things to distance themselves from the term mommyblogger.  The always kind and spot on Julie of The Mom Slant saying  more than once “Don’t call me a mommyblogger!” Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored who never pulls a punch declaring her new motto ” Not all bloggers are like that” when referring to being called a mommyblogger.  Hearing Busy Mom (The Original) –who happens to be one of the most mellow, non-judgemental, pioneers in the mommyblogging community– refer to all of this as the year shame died which in turn prompted the title of a brilliant post from the amazing blogger, Liz of Mom 101.  I heard and experienced all of those last weekend.

And it broke my heart.

These are the women who stood up and earned respect for term “mommyblogger” through their amazing writing, professionalism and pride in what they write about.  Even those who resist labels altogether wore the mommyblogger label with pride when it was applied to them are now these women want nothing to do with it.  Those same women who brought respect to the term and the community are now repulsed by it.

And I am heartbroken.

And I am mad.

It brings to my mind a question that I have been pondering since all of this finally came to a head at BlogHer.

And I want you to think about this long and hard.

If you join an established and respected community, do you owe it anything?  Is it your responsibility to respect what has been built with hard work and diligence by the people who consider themselves a part of that community?  Especially if it is a community without set rules, guidelines or membership but rather it is merely a community of writers who have worked hard to support each other through their writing and willingness to stand up for each other both on their blogs and in their personal lives?

If you throw on that label, what does that mean?  Does it mean anything?  Should you respect those who came before you–the pioneers if you will–or do you say to hell with how it has been done or the work they have put into this community, this is how I want to do it?

If a community is built by being open to everyone who identifies with it, respects it and is proud to be a part of it, what happens to that community when just using the label that identifies it throws it into turmoil.  When it places someone right smack dab into the middle of this open community and that person has little respect for what it stands for already?

Does self labeling make you are part of a community?

I don’t know.

What I do know is my heart broke when I heard amazing writers who have never fought the term mommyblogger and even go as far as bring it respect, not want to be associated with it.  Worse?  When I was talking to  Susan Getgood, a woman I respect immensely,  and heard the words, “I don’t even want to be called a mommyblogger anymore if this is what is has come down to.”  come out of my very own mouth, my heart dropped to my feet.  The look on her face (and the tears that began rolling down my cheeks)  said it all.

But now?  You can forget that.  Too many amazing mommybloggers fought too hard to walk away from something we brought respect to.  Mark my words, we will take back the respect we earned and fought for.  Will we do it through screaming, threats, blog attacks or excluding people?  No. Absolutely not.  That is not what built us up in the first place and it is not what will sustain us through this insanity of poor behavior.

What will we do? We will write the hell out of our blogs and remind people who mommybloggers are and why we earned the respect we have.  Just before I left I was handed a fortune cookie. (I was overwhelmed so I cannot remember the link of who gave it to me. Tell me and I will link you!)  That fortune cookie says it all for me.

The end looks much like the beginning.  Return to what you once knew and many have forgotten along the way.

I have not forgotten.  Have you?

Nine things I learned at BlogHer ’09

Nine things I learned at BlogHer ’09

So, after five years of BlogHer and being blessed enough to have attended all five, I realize you can always walk away from this conference having learned something.

1.  Really? It doesn’t matter what you wear because people will forget unless you show up in a wedding dress or naked.  Both will get you cheers and looks.  As long as you are comfortable in your own skin, whatever clothes you have on will work.  Most importantly, wear comfortable shoes.  No matter how cute your new shoes are, you will hate them at them end of the day if your feet are bloody and blistered.

2.  Decide in advance what sessions you want to attend because when you decide ten minutes before it starts not only will you probably get lost trying to find it but when you do get there, it will probably be standing room only.  If that occurs, do you really want to be the woman who freaked out from claustrophobia and ran screaming from the room.  Not that it actually happened that way but I did have to leave at least one because OMG I know there was just not enough air that room for all of us.

3.   Take care of yourself.  If that means going to your room for quiet time or sitting outside to catch your breath (because everyone else seems to have stolen the air) or just meeting friends in a quiet place to talk.  It is so easy to get overwhelmed.  It is okay to just say no.

4.  Unless you can clone yourself (and please don’t because there were so many people there already, y’all!),   you cannot be at all places at all times. It is okay to miss some things.  Live in the moment and you will have more fun and take so much more away from this amazing conference.  You make it what you want it to be.

5.  Sometimes you find yourself texting your roommate (and/or friends) non-stop saying “Where are you?”  It is perfectly okay to lojack your roomie for simplicity in finding them in a crowded hotel.  (Oh,sure, Busy Mom(The Original) says that borders on stalking but what does she know? She is still chipped just in case.  I think her words were “It’s not stalking. It’s an intimate friendship.”) And?  You may be surprised that every time you turn around the same person is there.  It’s all good.  Hug them.  I am pretty sure Soapbox Mom was not stalking me. Or was she?  Either way, we got about a million hugs in over the course of the weekend.  Now, I miss not seeing her.

6.  This conference is HUGE.  A hotel with 1500 women is overwhelming.  However, do not be afraid to go up to a blogger you admire and want to meet.  Whether you have 11 readers a day or eleventy-hundred, we all like meeting new people.  In fact, when I got on the elevator one day, I ran into Ree.  She had the same shell shocked look most of us did.  I asked her if she was overwhelmed with people talking to her and coming up to meet her.  She said there really weren’t that many people who did just come up to introduce themselves.  Luckily, I have no boundaries and had no problem gushing at her.

7.  I always thought that Liz of This Full House was hard to understand because of that think Joisey accent.  It turns out that is not the case.  It is because she probably has a brownie shoved in her mouth.  And?  She may be losing her hearing because everytime I opened my mouth she replied with “What?”  And we all know I do not have an accent at all.  It must be her.

8.  Maria and V (@veepveep) only seem scary.  I mean, just because Victoria said she would cut me about a hundred times and Maria pulls no punches when she talks to you, they are awesome.  If you did not meet them, you need to.  They probably really won’t cut you.  But you may get a weird package from UPS from V.  Don’t open it.  I’m just sayin’.

9.  If you are going somewhere on a big bus meant to carry a lot of people and find it is too full for just a few more, jump on the chance to take the smaller Dork bus.  Had I not done that, I would have missed out on meeting Miss Britt in person for the first time who in turn introduced me to Adam who is really a nice guy. (Shhhh, don’t tell!)  As well as laughing with the other super cool Dork Bus mates.  (Dork Bus Mates: Send me your urls so I can link you.  My brain is too fried and I am too sick to look.  And lazy.  And a dork.)  We had a blast laughing on that trip to Ford.

And one more for BlogHer ’10:

10.  Jory, Elisa and Lisa work really hard with an amazing staff to pull off an incredible conference.  For you.  Did you thank them? You should.  Did you thank the staff?  You should.  Did you especially thank Lori Luna?  If not, bow down and thank her with every ounce of thankfulness you have.  She is a miracle worker and an advocate for you if things go a bit haywire.

I learned more but I know that all the cool kids do Top Ten bullet points so I have to stop.  And there was so much more to say.  Maybe later.  Or not.  I will have to think of 10 more things.