Things I Learned This Weekend

This weekend I needed a mental health weekend.  Time to regroup, rethink and reboot.  So to speak.  Here are some of the brilliant insights my brain stumbled upon.

• Exercise can only get you so far before you have to resort to Ben & Jerry’s.  Which of course will lead to more exercise but at least you will feel the satisfaction of devouring the frozen goodness that is the very definition of awesome therapy in a pint size container.
• If you lay really still and don’t give in to the urge to move when someone peeks into your room to see if you are sleeping late, you can actually buy yourself some more alone time to check out TMZ, E! and People to see what those crazy celebrities did while you were sleeping.
• Going to a hockey game really is a great way to release tension.  There is just nothing more beautiful than the sound of a puck (or a hockey player) slamming into the glass.  (I told my husband the most romantic gift he could give me would be a mix tape of checks into the boards, pucks hitting glass and the sound of hundreds of amped up fans cheering when a fight breaks out. Ooooh baby!)
• Unhappy people make people unhappy.  (I read that on a blog this weekend and for the life of me I cannot find it again.)
• Old friends can make you laugh like no one else on earth.  Sometimes, just hearing their voice on your voicemail makes your heart happier. Other times, it’s friends who send you smart-ass videos by Pink with notes that call you a dork and thanks you for not being a stupid girl which make you wonder “really is that a compliment or an insult and why would you ever even think of me when  you see that… I just may be insulted by it except that you have me laughing too hard to be insulted.“
• Kids really are resilient.  And?  They have amazing ways of seeing the world.  I recommend spending some time with some if you can.  Even if they include that scary breed of kid known as “teenager.”  They’ll teach you a thing or two.  And really what weekend is complete without being schooled by a teenager?
• When you put your cold feet on your husband in the middle of the night, using the excuse “But you’ve been in bed longer so you are warmer” doesn’t endear them to your cause.  Or warm your feet.  Oh, and when they are putting their socks on the next morning and wake you up, they will hear you if you mumble something about not deserving socks to warm their feet.
• The scariest words to write on your first book are not the first ones that start out the story and get your reader involved. They are…the end.  Sometimes even scarier?  To be continued…
• You have trained your husband and children very, very well when you bitch about needing to get your hair done because “Omigosh how can  you not see that grey?! Look closer!” and they all at different times, without conferring with each other respond, “I don’t see any grey.”
• Only Oprah can bring Letterman and the NBC “L” guy (who is not Conan but should be) together on a couch for chips.  I bet she could also bring about world peace.  Or at the very least, bring Conan back to my tv!