Have you ever been to your class reunion and looked around thinking:
1) How have they done so much in the same amount of time that I have done so little?
2) Why do these people look so young and I feel so old…Oh crap! I am in the wrong room! This is a 10 year reunion and OMG I am so not going to fit in here! Do I leave or just hang out and fake it?
3) What if the don’t remember me? What if who I was and who I am now don’t fit in with my friends? Have I been so bad at keeping in touch that I am irrelevant and only made the list because ‘Hey, we have to invite everyone!’
Okay, maybe that isn’t the best analogy but it is how I feel about coming back to regular blogging. You see, I have been out of the game so long it feels weird just jumping in with a “Hey, y’all!” but at the same time, I miss blogging regularly. I miss the friendships that I have built. I miss the amazing feedback. I miss just coming here for fun and blogging and keeping it real. Here in my home I created 7 years ago. My online home. I’ve missed it.
I did what I promised myself I never would. I stopped blogging and let myself be censored by the people around me. I have always said and still stand behind the fact that I won’t say anything on my blog I won’t say to someone’s face. That will always be true. It’s just that the world has become a lot smaller.
There are people in my everyday life who would like nothing more than to see me screw up. I know more about the people around me and things they say than I let on. And out of fear of being too real, too raw or too open, I have in effect allowed those people to muzzle me.
I have too many things to share. I love my blogging too much. I have made too many amazing connections. I won’t let anyone take that away from me.
So, here I am. Ready. Real. And Raw. Think you can handle it? If not, just move along so that the rest of us can enjoy ourselves and I can get back to the business of being me.
To quote one of my favorite authors and philosophical gurus, Dr. Seuss:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”