When you share a bed with the same person for 20 years, you establish some “unwritten rules” of behavior. For instance, it is not okay for me to wake Clint up to tell him about something I just thought of that was really funny. He will not find it amusing. Another example, it is not okay to wake me up to ask me if I am sleeping or what time I am planning on waking up. Simple things that keep a marriage going strong and prevent one from getting pushed out of bed when one least expects it.
I have a confession to make. One of these rules I break every chance I get.
You see, I have been banned from reading Janet Evanovich books in bed. Especially the Stephanie Plum series. Why Janet Evanovich? Because I “allegedly” wake him up every time I read these books in bed. Okay, I admit to laughing. Out loud. Sometimes I try to hold it in. That just results in me shaking the bed so hard it wakes him up simply because I am laughing so hard and trying not to make a noise so as to not wake him. Or it results in the loud laugh-snort. None of it works. I laugh. Out loud. Every time. Thus, the ban.
So last night I was ready. I came to bed as if everything was normal. I had my water (ahem Diet Coke), my phone and my book.
“Freeze!” He looks at me hard.
“What?” I mutter in my most demure manner.
I was ready. See, I am onto Clint. He knows the release date for the new Evanovich books. He had the nerve to think that I would blatantly bring in a new Plum novel. Ha! You see, I knew he might be looking for it so I did what any rational person in this situation would do. I put a Stuart Woods cover over the book so that it appeared to be a Stuart Woods book and not my forbidden fruit of hilariousness.
“What do you have?”
“Ummm, a drink, my phone and a book.” I held the book up for him to see. He looked doubtful but let it go.
I silently giggle and crawl into bed.
By the third page I am giggling and trying to hold it in. By the second chapter I am laughing out loud and trying to practically bite my pillow to resist.
“Hand it over.”
I jump. I thought he was asleep. “What? Huh? What book?”
He lays there with his hand outstretched waiting for me to hand over my book.
“That is SO unfair!” I pout and hand over the book.
“I cannot believe you thought you could sneak this past me. You know you laugh. You know you wake me up. Did you think your fake cover would work?”
“Well, actually, yes, I did. Let me get this clear: That book right there in your hand is off limits in bed. That book.”
I could see he was wondering where I was going with that. “This book and any of her books-paperback and hardback. One through 16.”
There was victory in his eyes as I rolled over and turned out the light.
As soon as he fell asleep, I reached for my book light & my Kindle. I giggled as I threw the covers over my head and began to read Sizzling Sixteen right where I left off when I handed over my book.
Silly man! He totally should have seen that one coming.
I tried it again tonight. He totally busted me when I started to giggle. I get my Kindle back at daybreak.
Good thing I have Kindle app for the iPhone!