Ohh Emm Geee! Look who is blogging again. Yes, I realize it is NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) but no, I am not blogging because of that. And I also know it is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and rather than sign up for that, I may dust off something I was working on. And, yes, it is also NaNaTaMo (Natioanal Nap Taking Month) and I most definitely will be taking advantage of that particular tradition.
Anyhooooo, I realized most of the things I would’ve normally blogged here, I have been microblogging on Facebook. However, I haven’t been on Facebook for almost a week and you know what? No one has even noticed. Facebok tends to give you a false sence of intimacy. Not with everyone but with many. Especially when it comes to my chronic illnesses and bad days. My high school friends don’t want to hear about that. Neither do the people I worked with on campaigns a year or two ago (or more). However, I will add that a couple of weeks ago when I hit a wall of pain and a very dark place and gave a shout out for help, many, many people came forward to be there to help pick me up. That meant everything to me. So, there are awesome exceptions. I may pop my head in now and then but it hasn’t missed me so why should I miss it? Am I right?
So if I am going to be here more often, I need to clean house. Basically, I have some big changes coming up for my little home here. Can you believe I missed my Blogiversary? 12 years! 12 YEARS!! Now it’s closer to 12 and a half. Nevertheless, can you believe I have been writing here for 12 years. Granted, I have been terrible about being consistent. But I need my space here to be share my thoughts freely. If you come here, it’s your choice. Unlike Facebook when I just pop up in your newsfeed, you choose to come to my home here. I am dusting her off, washing the windows, fluffing the pillows, and lighting some candles to make it smell cozy and homey. And of course, there is always coffee ready for anyone who wants some. I hope you come here and keep coming back. I have set some tough goals for myself here.
For instance, this post was supposed to be about something totally different and more personal but I backed away. I’ll get used to being open here soon enough. (Or as they call it “blogging naked.”) The things I post may not be what my old readers want to read. And, yes, that scares me. But? I have to get back to being myself. I can’t be the person some people want me to be. At least not all the time. I have changed. Chronic pain and chronic illness have changed me. I’m sorry to those friends who couldn’t handle the changed in me and had to walk out. I understand and I hold no grudges. It’s rough to have someone with chronic pain and illness in your life. I get that.
But as I write this, I can’t help but wonder if personal blogging is still a “thing” or have bloggers turned to microblogging on sites where they blog in sound bites? I guess we’ll find out. Are you ready to figure this out with me? Grab my hand. Let’s close our eyes. Now… Leap!
YAY! Glad you’re back in whatever way I can get you. I love the old school bloggers.
Thanks, Heidi! I appreciate it. My little lone reader. You’re the bestest!
This is me, not going ANYWHERE, gawd I love reading your words 🙂
Wow. It’s pretty damn good to hear from you, my friend! I hope things are getting better in your world. I think of you every day. Miss you tons!
Excited!
Me too, Tarrant!
A few things to talk about here.
One – Your belief that you were not missed or that your absence went unnoticed is simply not true. But those of us that understand your new realities realize that there simply may be breaks like that necessary because of the pain management issues. Never for a moment believe that you are forgotten, even for a moment, it simply is not true.
Two – Maybe it is a rebirth of blogging thing. I don’t think it is a coincidence that only a few weeks before you start to blog again I redesigned, refreshed and started blogging again. It took a while, but I don’t think that it is odd that those of us that are “old school” and used to fully flushing out our thoughts can grow tired of the microblogging format. Of course there is no reason that both can’t live in harmony. You don’t have to make it an either or proposition. But regardless of whether or not it is a “thing” ,,, it is your corner of the internet… use it as you see fit, who cares about the rest?
Three – Anyone that can’t understand you now, was never your friend then, and they don’t really matter, so you already spent more brain power on them than they are worth. Those who remain will be there to read through this and any other change you go through. For the rest there are lyrics:
go now go
walk out the door
don’t turn around now
cause your not welcome anymore
Finally – The future is upon us, and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Ready to take that leap with you.
Thanks, Jay. You have me a lot to think about. Some of it is hard to grasp. I’m going to sit on this. I’ll come back to this. You get me.
W00t!! 🙂
My sentiments exactly!
Welcome back. You were missed, for real.
Thanks, Melisa.
First, Jay is smart.
Second, I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK I COULD SCREAM. Oh right. I am.
Third, I can’t wait to hear every stinking word.
Muah!
You’re too kind, Kendra. I’m hoping I can find my groove again. It’s been hard to trust again. BUT? There is an x on everyone’s page if they don’t like what I’m saying or who I am. Right?
Jenn,
Your high school friends do care about you. And we love to hear from you about the good, the bad, and the ugly, despite your thoughts to the contrary. Even though we are thousands of miles apart as well as years of communication apart other than FB, I still think of you as a dear friend whom I am privileged to know. I enjoy seeing you pop up on FB – you always bring a smile to my face. But I understand that whole “spoon” thing, and sometimes wonder if even showing up on FB is sacrificing a spoon. So hang on to those spoons for what really matters, knowing that your “cloud of witnesses” is still cheering you on, praying for you, and thankful for the sunshine you bring when we have the pleasure of glimpses into your daily world. You are such a fighter and a champion for those who may not have a voice. Your voice is so important. But we also realize that important voices don’t come as a continual wave, but as special bursts that cause us to stop and take notice and marvel. You are a marvel, my friend. I’m watching for those bursts, waiting prayerfully for you.
Glad to see you here! Others have said it very eloquently, do what’s right for you, we want to read whatever you share.
Maybe you’ve even inspired me to get back at it!