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Category: NaNoWriMo

It’s time for me to go old school again

It’s time for me to go old school again

Ohh Emm Geee! Look who is blogging again. Yes, I realize it is NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting  Month) but no, I am not blogging because of that. And I also know it is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)  and rather than sign up for that, I may dust off something I was working on. And, yes, it is also NaNaTaMo (Natioanal Nap Taking Month) and I most definitely will be taking advantage of that particular tradition.

Anyhooooo, I realized most of the things I would’ve normally blogged here, I have  been microblogging on Facebook. However, I haven’t been on Facebook for almost a week and you know what?  No one has even noticed. Facebok tends to give you a false sence  of intimacy. Not with everyone but with many. Especially when it comes to my chronic illnesses and bad days. My high school friends don’t want to hear about that. Neither do the people I worked with on campaigns a year or two ago (or more).  However, I will add that  a couple of weeks ago when I hit a wall of pain and a very dark place and gave a shout out for help,  many, many people came forward to be there to help pick me up.  That meant everything to me. So, there are awesome exceptions. I may pop my head in now and then but it hasn’t missed me so why should I miss it? Am I right?

Focus On Your Goals!
Focus On Your Goals!

So if I am going to be here more often, I need to clean house. Basically, I have some big changes coming up for my little home here. Can  you believe I missed my Blogiversary? 12 years! 12 YEARS!! Now it’s closer to 12  and a half. Nevertheless, can you believe I have been writing here for 12 years. Granted, I have been terrible about being consistent. But I need my space here to be share my thoughts freely. If you come here, it’s your choice. Unlike Facebook when I just pop up in your newsfeed, you choose to come to my home here. I am dusting her off, washing the windows, fluffing the pillows, and lighting some candles to make it smell cozy and homey. And of course, there is always coffee ready for anyone who wants some. I hope you come here and keep coming back. I have set some tough goals for myself here.

For instance, this post was supposed to be about something totally different and more personal but I backed away.  I’ll get used to being open here soon enough. (Or as they call it “blogging naked.”) The things I post may not be what my old readers  want to read. And, yes, that scares me. But? I have to get back to being myself. I can’t be the person some people want me to be. At least not all the time. I have changed. Chronic pain and chronic illness have changed me. I’m sorry to those friends who couldn’t handle the changed in me and had to walk out. I understand and I hold no grudges. It’s rough to have someone with chronic pain and illness in your life. I get that.

But as I write this, I can’t help but wonder if personal blogging is still a “thing” or have bloggers turned to microblogging on sites where they blog in sound bites? I guess we’ll find out. Are you ready to figure this out with me? Grab my hand. Let’s close our eyes. Now… Leap!

I’m no Hemingway but you probably knew that

I’m no Hemingway but you probably knew that

I’ve been trying to write every day. I have been doing it so far. But the drivel I am putting to paper is shameful. How in the world did Hemingway and other fellow writers create such masterpieces while drunk, drugged, or in some way out of their minds? I can’t believe I used to take on a daily basis at least 4x the amount of meds I am taking now and I went about my every day chores and errands without even a blip on my “derp-o-meter.” But now? Ohhhhhhh, I am derp to the extreme much to the amusement (and frustration) of my family.

Me to my husband: “Can you go to the…that place…you know…that place we go…uhhh…they have things you buy… you know what I mean…that..what do you call it??”

Husband: “Do you mean a grocery store?”

Me: “Yes! Words are hard.”

And then I was embarrassed so I became all “I’m good.” I tried to convince him I was just kidding. We both knew better.

What I love about this so much is that I HATE IT! I really don’t like the medicated feeling. I don’t like feeling so fuzzy and out of it. Once I was all about the high. Now? I truly get frustrated and cannot stand that this is where I have to be right now.

Before you ask, yes, I have spoken to my sponsor and keep this closely under observation. And, yes, I spend most of my time sleeping so that 1) I don’t feel as much pain and 2) so I don’t have to feel that icky feeling.

But I write. Because I said I would. And so I am.

If you think this sucks, try reading my NaNoWriMo work. Now that? That is pathetic. But? I am writing and that is what I need. Now more than ever.

PS- I am doing MUCH better and am way more successful so far at NaNaTaMo. I RULE that one.

So, how YOU doin’?

Breaking Bad and other horrors to avoid while medicated

Breaking Bad and other horrors to avoid while medicated

So my boys got me hooked on the show Breaking Bad. Yes, I see the irony of me being a recovering addict hooked on a show about meth and such. But you see, while this show has absolutely amazing actors and the writing is beyond incredible, some of the stuff they have on that show will totally freak your mind. This isn’t Disney, y’all.

So add in a little bit of not quite right thinking because your doctor put you on some heavy medication, that show will mess you up! I was watching it tonight when my middle son came in and was all, “MOM! I told you not to watch that before bed. I would think you would realize that also means while you’re in a somewhat altered state. Go watch Glee. Or Mad Men. Or some fluffy show you have on the DVR.”  (Yes, I was reprimanded by my son. But he was totally right.)

Can I just tell you that when I fell into a bizarre sleep I did dream about Walter White (from Breaking Bad) trying to do a musical with the kids from Glee in order to launder his meth money but they had to make sure not to infringe on Stefano (from Days of Our Lives) territory. Now that, people, is a jacked up dream. And though it freaked me out, it gave me a blog post. And isn’t that really all we want during NaBloPoMo?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Is that a headache you have or are you a before picture for botox?

Is that a headache you have or are you a before picture for botox?

Seriously? This month of  “let’s do all this writing stuff” coming at the same time my head decides to try to implode is just cruel. But no worries. I hear that my skull is tough enough to handle my headache and most likely I won’t actually suffer from brain implosion syndrome. I read it on the Interwebs so it must be true. So hear I sit trying to pretend to find something brilliant to post while medicated and still in pain. The following is what I came up with after being asked eleventy million times which picture best described my pain level. Good luck in following it.

Those charts they have in the ER with the various faces to describe your pain? Yeah, they need to make those more dramatic. And with better captions.  Like the first one, pain face 0? It should be “I have a unicorn at home and you don’t.” (Though I do like that it says “No hurt” rather than “No pain” which makes it sound much more like a reggae song. “No frowny. No hurt.”

Pain face #1 just shouts “I use too many emoticons so unless you turn that sideways, I am not sure that you are kidding. Are you kidding? Just kidding.”

Pain face #2 is more like “If I just sit here and stare at you long enough, I may be able to hypnotize you and make you cluck like a chicken.”

Pain face #3 looks more like “Dammit, I just farted and there is no one else around to blame it on.”

Pain face #4 is all “I’m going for the emo look and you should respect my pain cred, yo.”

But #5 is more like “I just heard they cancelled Glee and where am I going to get my show choir fix now? I’m going to need a lot of ice cream this week.”

They need to add #6 where the smiley face is all red, pissed off, and looks a bit homicidal. Now that would be way more accurate.  Stabby. They need to add “stabby” for one of those. (Sidenote: Doctors don’t find it humorous when you say you are pain level 6 and all stabby. They get all nervous and shit.)

Right now, my pain level is Pi(e). No. Not 3.14 but “I need pie because the medicine they gave me makes me feel like a college kid who totally has the munchies and even though my head still kind of hurts, I am pretty sure pie will fix it all.”

 

 

 

Day 1- NaNoWriMo, NaBloPoMo, and new this year NaNaTaMo

Day 1- NaNoWriMo, NaBloPoMo, and new this year NaNaTaMo

November 1st:  The day the craziness starts.

First up:  NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) where I am to post here every day this month. (This drivel counts.)

But also NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) where I AM going to conquer an entire novel in one month. (I wrote some this morning but not enough but I did start.)

Yes. I am trying BOTH!

And my dad’s birthday.
And mah birthday! (November 7th for those taking notes.)
And Thanksgiving.

And…

NaNaTaMo (National Nap Taking Month) where I commit to taking a nap every day this month.

So how am I doing so far? I am blogging from the ER on my phone (dedication, people) because of my headaches.  I mean I am in the ER because of my headaches not blogging on my phone because of my headaches because if you think about it that would totally make it worse. My headaches. But probably my blogging too. Not a great start. Maybe that means an amazing ending.

So here’s a cute picture I have on my phone of my Dobie who is totally humiliated that I put a silk scarf on him. Enjoy the adorableness while I wait for the meds to kick in and to see unicorns and finally understand the words to In-A Gadda-Da-Vida.

Seriously? Do NOT put this on the Internet.

 

I signed up for what?

I signed up for what?

Apparently I truly have lost my mind.  “How can you tell, Jenn?”, you may be asking yourself.  (First, that is a rude question, you know.  Secondly, good point.) The answer is I signed up for NaNoWriMo Perhaps I have lost my mind.  Okay, I have.  No one is debating that one.  (Okay, there is that freaky guy in the back that may be debating it, but he likes to debate everything so no one really listens to him.)

50,000 words.

30 Days.

Crazy.

Enough said. 

I’ll keep you updated.

In other news, I finally picked up a book that has been recommended to me by so many people!  I went to my library and got a copy of Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird.  How can I put this?  I LOVE IT.  I have drawn little hearts around it and put “I love you stickers” on the pages of my favorite chapters.  (All of them.) How can you not love a book with a chapter entitled “Shitty First Drafts”?  If you are a writer, stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW and follow this link or go to your library and get this book.  Now.  Go.  You’ll love it.  You have my word on it.  How could I not have snagged it up when I first heard about it?  I don’t know either.  Chalk it up to craziness.  (I do that with everything else!) But I may have to tell the library they can’t have it back.  I love it too much.

So, that is the going ons going on here.  What about you?  Tell me what I have missed being out of the blogosphere so much lately!  Update me, people.  You are my link to insanity.

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